Let's Hear It For America's Suitehearts
by MCRDeathNoteLover
Summary: A fic that contains all of the MCR guys, Spencer Smith, Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz, Billie Joe Armstrong, Andy Biersack, Ashley Purdy, Jake Pitts, Ronnie Radke, Destery Moore, Jordan Witzigreuter, and Brendon Urie! Hayley Williams, Amy Lee, Taylor Swift, and Katy Perry all make minor appearances, and possibly more later on! PLEASE R&R!
1. I Could Be An Accident

**TITLE:GRAND THEFT AUTUMN(WHERE IS YOUR BOY)BY FALL OUT BOY**

**YOU NEED HIM, I COULD BE HIM, I COULD BE AN ACCIDENT, BUT I'M STILL TRYING, AND THAT'S MORE THAN I COULD SAY FOR HIM**

I walked out of Brendon's house, shaking with unshed tears waiting just behind my eyes. I ran down the sidewalk, pulling my phone out. I dialed my best friend as I ran as fast as I could towards his house.

"Hey Cam!"

"I'm coming to your house. I need to talk to you," I said, blinking away the tears that were spilling out of my eyes.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said shakily, my voice wavering and betraying me.

"You don't sound okay. What happened?" I kept running, hanging up. I couldn't spill my guts to him just yet.

When I got to his house, I opened the door and called his name. I ran up to his room, pounding on the door.

"PATRICK STUMP! OPEN YOUR DOOR DAMMIT!" He opened the door, and I ran in and collapsed face down on his bed, bawling into the pillow.

"Cam, what's going on? What happened?" I cried even harder. "Camren Faye Young, tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Brendon, okay? HE is what's going on!"

"What the did he do to you?" I rolled over, letting Patrick see the bruises that were forming on my face. He stayed quiet, sitting next to me on the queen size bed. He tenderly pushed some of my dark brown curls out of my face and looking deep into my stormy gray blue eyes. "He hit you?"

"After he called me a cheating whore and whole lot of other stuff." I sniffed. Patrick hugged me, wrapping me in a warm embrace.

"Well he doesn't know what he's talking about. I know you better than anyone, and you're not a cheating whore. You're too perfect tot be a cheating whore." I snuggled closer to my best friend. He was such a great guy; I have no idea why he hung out with an emo freak like me.

Oh yeah. We've known each other since before I was an emo freak and he was a ridiculously talented musician. Ah, kindergarten. Good times.

"I wrote you a song last night." I looked at him. He didn't write songs for people. This intrigued me.

"You did?" He nodded and smiled at me. I was released from the hug as he went to go grab his guitar.

"It's called Pretty In Punk. Pete actually helped me a little." I smiled as he sat down in his desk chair and started to play the song.

_Walking off that stage tonight_

_I know what you're thinking_

"_He stands alone because he's high on himself"_

_But if you only knew_

_I was terrified and would you mind if I_

_Sat next to you and watched you smile_

_So many kids but I only see you_

_And I don't think you noticed me_

_Well I've seen your boyfriend_

_And I don't think he treats you right_

_But that's none of my business is it?_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_The only girl who ever gave me the time_

_Was the only who wanted five minutes of mine_

_Knocking boots in the back_

_How degrading is that?_

_I decline_

_I'm too terrified and would you mind if I_

_Sat next to you and watched you smile_

_So many kids but I only see you_

_And I don't think you noticed me_

_Well I've seen your boyfriend_

_And I don't think he treats you right_

_But that's none of my business is it?_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no, no_

I looked at him, awestruck. "You wrote that for me?" He blushed a little and nodded, looking at his feet and pulling his hat down in a futile attempt to cover his face. I smiled at him, stood up and walked over to him.

"I love it." I lightly kissed his cheek and he blushed, badly. "What would I do without you?"

"Hang out with Pete, and Gerard, and Mikey, and Frank, and Ray, and Spencer, and Billie, and Ronnie, and Andy, and Ashley, and Jake, and Bren… Never mind."

"Did you really need to list off all of our friends?" I laughed.

"Maybe," he shrugged. I laughed again. Patrick's face lit up at the sound of my laugh, and I smiled broadly.

"Hey, since I basically live here, do you mind if I go take a shower?"

"Go ahead. You know where everything is." I really did practically live at Patrick's house. My mom and her 'boyfriend' were always gone, vacationing or on business trips, and my dad had died when I was really little. Patrick lived with his mom, who worked long shifts at her waitressing job and was never home either, but when she was, she was the gang's mom. Patrick and I were always at each other's house, or with the guys.

I walked into the bathroom, stripped myself and turned on the hot water as hot as possible, letting the room fill with steam before I turned the water to a normal temperature and stepping in. I thought about all the different things that happened with Brendon.

I had gone over to Brendon's house to hang out and watch a movie. I had gotten up to go to the bathroom, leaving my phone on the couch. While I was gone, I had gotten a text from Billie. I still had no idea what it said, because Brendon had picked up my phone, and freaked out at whatever it said. When I came back, he was going through my phone, looking at all my texts. He started screaming at me for being a cheating whore and lying to him and that I was a slut, and that I should just become a prostitute if I was going do so many guys. I had no idea what was going on, and I asked him what he meant. Then he got really pissed and slapped me, and when I fell over, he punched me in the eye and smacked me around, yelling at me for being a whore. I finally pushed him off me and grabbed my phone before running out of the house.

I was so upset about it. I had known Brendon for as long as I'd known Patrick. While Patrick and I had been causing teachers to want to tear their hair out and quit their jobs, Brendon had been sitting back, watching us and being supportive to me with my problems. He knew that Billie was the last person I would ever want to have sex with, and frankly, the rest of the guys didn't have great chances either, except for maybe Ronnie. They were like the 13 annoying brothers I never had. Being the only girl, they were all protective of me, especially Patrick and Ronnie. I was grateful for it on occasion, but most of the time, it was annoying.

The guys were all nuts. I knew this. But each of their personalities had rubbed off on me, making me this Frankenstein of attitudes. Gerard was the sassy smart ass, and he had the dirtiest mind out of all of us. Frank was the hyperactive one who should be on a leash. Mikey was the shy quiet one who gave the best advice. Ray was the funny one, always making us laugh, Pete was a total ladies man, but deep down he was really sweet and kind of shy. Andy and Ashley were completely in sync with each other, and I swore they could read minds. They knew EVERYTHING, and can always figure out what I'm thinking. It was pretty creepy, but at least they could cheer me up when I'm down. I loved Ronnie, I was pretty sure. He was such a great guy, so funny, and he had an amazing outlook on life. Ashley acted like a five year old and was a total perv, and had a serious thing for Hooters waitresses. Jake was a freaking genius, and we all went to him for homework help. He was pretty rich too, because most of the time we just paid him to do our homework. Billie was the mastermind behind all of our pranks and plots to take over the world. Brendon was the unspoken leader, and Spencer was the one I went to when I needed a shoulder to cry on when Patrick and Ronnie weren't around. He was a really sweet guy. And Patrick… what can I say? He was my best friend, the one I was closest to, and the guy I've known the longest. He was the most amazing friend I'd ever had.

Okay. So maybe I have had the same group of 13 (except now 12) guys as my friends since I was in kindergarten. And maybe I was the only girl most of them (except for Ashley and Pete) had ever really talked to. And yes, maybe I was the one who got bullied the most out of them for being the "psycho-emo-vampire-wannabe-skank". And for being the "emo losers' prostitute". For some reason everyone at school was convinced I was screwing all of the guys.

I shuddered at that thought.

I shut off the water, and grabbed the towel off the rack, wrapping myself in it and stepping out of the shower. I dried myself off before opening the door and looking either way in the hall. I heard Patrick laugh at something in the living room, so I ran to his room as fast as humanly possible before shutting the door. I quickly opened the drawer of my clothes that stayed at Patrick's house for things like this. He had a drawer of his clothes in my room, so we were both chill about it. I pulled on some underwear and a pair of tight purple leggings, and then pulled the leggings off and trading them for a pair of white sweat pants that had random stuff written in sharpie all over them. I quickly grabbed a bra and threw it on, then pulled a grey tank top on. Once upon a time, the top had read "LIVE WITHOUT WORRY DREAM WITHOUT FEAR LOVE WITHOUT HURT" in sparkly letters across the front; now it was so old and beat up that it looked something like "LI IT OT WO Y D AM WIT T FE R LOVE ITH T H T". But I loved that top, and I wasn't giving it up anytime soon. I walked barefoot back to the bathroom, throwing my abandoned clothes in the hamper and looking at my bruising face in the mirror.

I did like some of my features, like my grey blue eyes, and my small nose and full lips. My hair was dark brown and wavy. I was naturally a redhead, but I hated it. I liked being a brunette or having black hair. I guess I did look like a vampire, a little bit. I had mascara running down my face from my shower, so I quickly washed it off before pulling my shoulder length hair up into a ponytail before exiting the bathroom to sit next to my best friend on the couch in the living room.

"What are you watching?" I asked Patrick as I folded my legs up underneath me.

"Old home movies. Oh my gosh, look at this. That's us at my 6th birthday party. All of us."

I watched the screen as a chubby little girl with red pigtails and two missing front teeth hugged a little boy with wild black hair. The little girl had a pink Hello Kitty swimsuit on, and the boy had a pair of black swim trunks with green paint splatters on them.

"BILLIE! Oh my gosh he was so little! And so was I! And- oh my gosh, is that Gee?!"

Another little boy with dark brown hair and a pair of blue swim trunks came up behind me and pushed me into a pool before laughing and jumping in after me. Pretty soon Billie jumped in, and then the camera swung the focus to see three little boys sitting on green grass playing with Pokemon cards. One of the little boys looked very small for his age, with black framed glasses that threatened to fall of his nose at any second and a pair of swim trunks that matched Gee's. The boy in the middle had a huge grin and had cake all over his face and all over his purple trunks. The last boy had plaid trunks and recognizable light brown hair. Mikey, Ashley, and Patrick still loved Pokemon cards.

Suddenly the peaceful Pokemon game was interrupted by a large group of 5 and 6 year olds tackling the three boys. All of us were laughing, and pretty soon the scuffling stopped.

"Thpenther! Are you okay?" The mini me asked, lisping from my lack of front teeth. Patrick and I cracked up.

"I'm okay," Mini-Spence said with a little sniff as he was helped up by Mini-Ray (who had a mini afro and everything!) and Mini-Brendon. Mini-Cam gave Mini-Spence a hug, and then the tape stopped.

"Oh my frick! What happened to that Cam, the one who gave Spence hugs when he got hurt? She was WAAAY cuter than you," Patrick teased me.

"Well this Cam isn't afraid to get in a fight!"

"Don't hurt me!" Patrick squealed like a pig as he put another tape in the VCR. Yeah, Patrick was so hipster that he had a VCR.

As we watched a video of our kindergarten graduation, complete with Ashley falling and knocking over the rest of the kindergarteners, Andy and Ronnie pulling Pete's pants down while he was singing some dumb little song, and me and Brendon crying because they ran out of balloons, Patrick and I about passed out from laughing at our mini-selves. We were interrupted when we heard a bunch of voices coming through the front door and up the stairs.

"YO! WE BROUGHT YOU GUYS FOOD!" I heard Pete call as he made his way upstairs, followed by Ashley, Ronnie, Mikey, Gerard, and Billie.

"Where's everyone else?" Patrick asked.

"They were behind us. They stopped because we needed coffee," Billie said.

"Wait, wait, wait. What's going on here?" I asked.

"Weeeeeel… Patrick called Pete, who called all of us, and we all came because we heard that Brendon was being an asshole!" Gerard said, jumping up on Ash's back, piggyback style.

"Yeah, and from the look of your face he was right about Brendon being an asshole," Ash said, trying to shake Gee off his back, hitting Ronnie and Mikey in the process. Billie came and flopped down on the couch next to me, and Ronnie lay down across Billie, Patrick, and I, resting his head in Billie's lap. I loved the fact that his waist was on my lap. Don't judge me, I was a hormonally charged teenager who was completely in love with the guy who was lying across me. Mikey plunked down on the floor in front of the couch, and Pete and Gee squished into the lazy chair, all of the new arrivals joining us in laughing at the home movies.

A few minutes later, Jake, Andy, Ray, Frank and Spence joined us and took up any remaining space on the floor. We were all together, minus Brendon. The food was passed around, everyone taking a slice of the delicious pizzas. Yeah. Pete brought 6 pizzas. I swear, we were all pigs. ESPECIALLY me. I ate like, half a pizza by myself. But I had also gone through a traumatic break up.

I looked around the room at the guys who were all there for _me._ I could barely keep from crying as I looked around at the guys who dropped everything to come running with pizza and coffee for a stupid girl. I felt a tear run down my face and wiped it away, hoping no one would notice.

"RED ALERT, RED ALERT! She's crying! She's crying!" Ronnie yelled.

Pete jumped up and jumped over the guys sitting on the floor. He tackled me out of my seat, Ronnie jumping up from his spot on my legs to sit on Patrick's lap. Pete pinned me to the floor.

"What are you doing?!"

"Why are you crying, what can make it better, and does Bren need to learn how to treat girls?"

"Because you guys are amazing, nothing, and yes."

"Really? You're crying 'cause we're amazing?" Gerard shoved his face right above mine.

"Yes… I mean, you all dropped whatever you were doing to come make sure I was okay. You guys are awesome." More tears leaked from my eyes. Gerard shoved his face closer to mine, our noses touching. He grinned like he was going to kiss me, but just rubbed his nose on mine before tackling Pete, crushing me underneath them. Pretty soon I was trapped at the bottom of a smelly, high school senior guys dog pile. We were all laughing, but I was crushed under all the guys.

"Guys! Get off me you weirdoes! I feel like I'm being gang raped!" I laughed, calling out to the guys who were lying on top of each other. Pete was face down on top of me, looking me dead in the eyes.

"I don't think we're going to be freed unless we make them think that we enjoy this… intimate situation," I giggled at him, and he understood. He kissed me, trying to make it seem like we were making out.

"Pete… OH MY GOSH PETE!" I giggled, making the other guys stop laughing as Pete and I continued making out. I was grateful that I was close enough to Pete to do this with out it changing our relationship. There was nothing special about the kiss, no fireworks. It was platonic.

Pretty soon Spence looked down from his perch at the very top of the pile and saw Pete and I.

"OH MY HOLY HELL WHAT ARE THEY DOING!" Spence jumped down and pretty soon everyone was rolling off the dog pile. Pete and I were finally free, but we had to keep kissing to keep the façade up so they wouldn't retackle us.

We rolled over, still making out, but at least now I wasn't underneath Pete's weight. I straddled his waist, tangling my fingers in his hair as he kissed my neck.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Ronnie screamed at us.

I rolled off of Pete and lay down on my back next to him. We were both laughing our asses off. When we finally started to get calmed down, we opened our eyes to look at the dumbstruck faces of our friends and laughed even harder. Every single one of them looked something along the lines of 0.o, O_o, or in Ash's case, *U*. Yeah, Ash was a freaking creep who enjoyed watching his friends make out on a floor.

"You… should see… your… faces!" Pete choked out. I was turning purple from the lack of oxygen and I felt like my stomach was about to be torn in half. Pete and I laughed for another minute before we finally sat up. Pete wiped tears from his eyes and gave me a quick hug. "We were trapped on the bottom of that dog pile! We had to get out somehow!"

"Yeah, and in Pete's defense, he's a good kisser," I added, barely holding back giggles when I looked over at my friend.

"Yeah, well… let's never, ever do that again, m'kay?" Andy said, shuddering as he sat down. Everyone else sat back down, their expressions neutral. But there was something going on with Ronnie, and I wasn't sure what. Anger? Jealousy?

We all were too hyper on the incredible amount of coffee and pizza we had consumed in such a short time to sit still. It didn't help that Andy and I had ADHD, and that Frank and Ashley were just high on life most of the time, so we ended up turning off the movies and starting music. Pretty soon we were rocking out to KISS, blink-182, Blood On The Dance Floor, Snow White's Poison Bite, and basically having a full fledged mosh pit in Patrick's living room. I didn't even notice that Ashley and Billie had gotten out the alcohol and that I had downed three beers and three shots until I started to feel dizzy at about 10 at night. The guys had all been there for about 6 hours, and we had been partying and dancing for a good 3. Nonetheless, I kept partying and dancing until I couldn't remember anything.


	2. I Spent The Night Dancing

**TITLE: THE SHARPEST LIVES BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE**

**WELL IT RAINS AND IT POURS, WHEN YOU'RE OUT ON YOUR OWN, IF I CRASH ON THE COUCH, CAN I SLEEP IN MY CLOTHES? CAUSE I'VE SPENT THE NIGHT DANCING, I'M DRUNK I SUPPOSE, IF IT LOOKS LIKE I'M LAUGHING, I'M REALLY JUST ASKING TO LEAVE**

I woke up the next morning in the bathtub. I wasn't wearing anything. I looked down at myself, trying desperately to remember what had happened the night before. The tub was full, but the water was cold. I stood up, dripping wet, and grabbed the towel I had used yesterday. I dried off some, and pulled on my bra and panties, but I was still shivering as I wrapped the towel around my body and ventured out to the other parts of the house, not before noticing that someone else's outfit and my own were strewn carelessly on the floor.

I walked into Patrick's room first. Jake was in there, asleep on the floor, along with Mikey and Billie who were on the bed, and Andy in the desk chair. I quickly grabbed a shirt and some shorts out of my drawer of clothes, pulling them on quickly before going to the rest of the house. Ashley was asleep on the kitchen counter, and Gerard was curled up under the table. Pete was asleep in front of the fridge, and I smirked when I saw that someone had taken sharpie to his face and given him a moustache, beard and unibrow.

I walked into the living room to find Spence, Ray, Ronnie, and Frank strewn across the furniture and floor. I realized that all of the guys I had seen in the various rooms were still fully dressed. Who's outfit was on the floor in bathroom then?

I had a sickening realization as I realized who the only person I hadn't been able to find was the only one who owned a hat like the one on the floor next to my tank top in the bathroom.

I ran for the bathroom, sick. I felt horrible. This could ruin our whole relationship. I don't know what I'd do without Patrick.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as I dry heaved into the toilet. The dry heaving was just making me feel worse and worse, and I could feel some tears starting to prick at my eyes. I turned around to face whoever it was that had touched me.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah Ronnie. I'm fine," I said, turning away from Ronnie. I wished he didn't see me like this. I was positive that I was incredibly UNattractive right now.

"You don't look fine. You look hung over, sick and basically like shit."

"Oh thanks for the compliment."

"Yup," he said with a smile.

"Ronnie, I know I'm going to regret asking this. What happened last night?" Ronnie took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he ran his fingers through his messy black hair.

"You sure you want to know?"

"Yeah. Tell me." He scrunched his face up a little.

"How about I show you instead? Pete recorded a couple of things on his phone."

I winced, but nodded. Ronnie went back into the kitchen and returned a moment later with Pete's phone in his hand. He fumbled through the options on the phone for a minute before finding the videos. He started the first one and handed the phone to me.

I watched the screen intently as the scene unfolded.

I was standing on the kitchen table, dancing to a song that I didn't recognize. The guys were all standing around the table, and Pete stepped back to capture the whole scene on his phone. I dancing around and… stripping?! I was stripping!

"What the hell?! Ronnie?" I asked, looking at him pleading with him for this all to be bogus. He just shook his head sadly and motioned back to the phone.

I was dancing around in my underwear at this point. I recognized the song as Ima Monster by Blood On The Dance Floor. I was the only one out of us that liked that band. I continued watching in horror as I pulled a not drunk Patrick up onto the table with me as the video ended. Ronnie started the next one, which was even worse than the first one.

It was a continuation of the last one, except now I was pulling Patrick's shirt over his head. He wasn't fighting me at all, which was surprising. In fact he looked like he was enjoying it. I grabbed his wrists and put his hands on my hips, pushing myself closer to him. I pressed my body up to him, sliding my hands up and down his chest. I kissed him, and I could tell that he was kissing back. The other guys were whistling and catcalling, and I think it was Spence who reached up and slapped my butt as I kissed Patrick. The video ended with me getting off the table and pulling Patrick to the bathroom, and Billie throwing in my clothes and Patrick's hat and shirt. At least none of them saw me naked.

I was crying now, furiously trying to blink away the tears that were spilling down my cheeks. I looked at Ronnie, who was looking at me, obviously pained.

"What the hell? Why did you let me do that?" I whispered.

"Cam… You know that Patrick and I are the ones that don't drink. He was sober when that happened. It was kind of a jerk move for him, but he really wanted it." I looked down at my feet, biting my lip to try to keep from sobbing.

_I guess Bren was right, _I thought sadly. _Maybe I am just a cheating whore. _

"Cam, if it helps, all of us were seriously turned on by your little… show." I started crying harder.

"Ronnie, I am such a freaking slut."

"No, you're not. You're a fun drunk who can't hold her liquor. Trust me, I'm the same way, except after a while I get violent. The difference between you and me is I get mad and you get laid." I pressed my face into his shoulder, bawling. He wrapped me in a hug and ran his hand over my hair. We heard the front door open, and Patrick walked in, wearing a different outfit and of course a different hat.

I kept crying into Ronnie's shoulder. I heard plastic bags rustling as Patrick walked into the kitchen. I stood up and wiped my eyes.

"Ronnie, can you take me home?" I asked quietly. He nodded and we pulled on our shoes before walking out the front door. I lived less than a block away, but I needed a friend right now.

We got to my house and I unlocked the front door. Ronnie and I stepped into the dark house, heading down the stairs to my basement bedroom. "Make yourself at home," I mumbled, grabbing a new outfit from my closet and walking quickly into the bathroom to change. I pulled on the clothes, a thrashed black shirt with a purple tank underneath, a pair of skinny jeans and my purple gloves. I ran a brush through my slightly damp curls and pulled my hair up into a waterfall.

I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out some Tylenol. I took two in an attempt to quell the throbbing ache behind my eyes. Then I pulled out my Celexa. I was pretty much addicted to my antidepressants, and while I was only prescribed to take one a day, I took 3. I needed them, just so that I could function.

The worst part was, only my parents knew I was depressed. None of my friends knew, not even Patrick. It was horrible keeping this secret from them. I wanted to tell them, but I couldn't. What if they took my pills from me?

I walked back into my room to find Ronnie lying on my bed, reading a comic book.

"Which one is that?"

"Batman."

"Ah. He's my favorite. Batman is the best." I said, lying down next to Ronnie on my bed. I looked at my room as he finished reading. My walls were a very light purple, with sharpie of varying colors all over, with things like BITE ME, SUCK IT, or the ever so cheery I HOPE YOU DIE all over. There were also lots and lots of song lyrics from my favorite songs by bands I liked. Some others were Patrick's songs, others were Brendon, Gee, Andy, or Ronnie's lyrics. All of the guys wanted to be musicians. I wanted to be a writer, personally. I had some of my poetry on the walls, and each of the guys had left stuff on the walls for me. Gerard once drew a zombie, Ray wrote a joke once, and Ashley wrote his name in a thought bubble right above where my head was when I slept, just to name a few of the things.

Ronnie finished reading. "Got a sharpie?"

"What color?"

"Hmm… silver?" I handed him the silver sharpie and he found an empty spot next to my dresser, which sat across from my bed. He started writing, and five minutes later, he was done. It was short, but he looked very proud of it. "Wanna see it?"

"Sure!" I said, shrugging. I got off the bed and walked over to the wall Ronnie had graffitti'd. I looked at the silver writing, reading his chicken scratch handwriting.

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette

_Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet_

_Out from the window see her backdrop silhouette _

_This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget_

_Something I cannot forget_

I nodded my approval. "I like it," I said, smiling at the grinning Ronnie.

"Thanks! Anyway, I am starving, I got a ride to Patrick's with Pete, and I don't have my keys or a car. So if you want food, we'll have to go back, get Pete to take me home, then get my car and go somewhere."

"I have food. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to stay inside all day. It's summer! It's our last summer before we become seniors! We shouldn't waste it!"

"Ronnie. We have two more weeks of summer, and I'm pretty sure I'm hung over. Can't we stay here?"

"No. Come on." He threw my purple Converse at me. I put them on and let Ronnie drag me outside after I grabbed my purse and sunglasses. We raced back to Patrick's and walked in without knocking. We found everyone awake and trudging like zombies, cleaning up after last night's mini party, drinking coffee, and popping Tylenol like they were M&M's. We found Pete in the bathroom, trying to get the marker off of his face.

"Who did it? Ronald Joseph Radke, you tell me right now!" Pete pinned Ronnie against the wall. Ronnie and I were laughing.

"If I were you, I would go talk to Spence and Ray. They might know what happened," Ronnie laughed. "But, after you do, can you drop us off at my place?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Pete called over his shoulder as he ran into the living room to find Ray and Spence. We heard their laughter, and Pete grumbling about ink poisoning. Ronnie walked into the kitchen, and found Billie, Mikey, Ashley, Patrick, Frank and Jake all sitting around the kitchen table, with Patrick's mom handing out pancakes and Eggo waffles. She was Patrick's only parent. His dad had disappeared when we were all young.

"Hey Patti!" Ronnie called as we walked in.

"Hi Ronnie," she said, shaking her head at her sons friend. "Looks like all of you had fun last night," Patti said, looking at the 13 teenagers gathered in her kitchen, smirking at the disheveled hair, rumpled clothes, and tired faces.

"Yeah, we all had fun," Frank said, gesturing to me.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled. I didn't want to talk about last night.

"What happened?" Patti asked, wanting to know.

"Nothing, nothing, I swe-"

"She basically got up on the table, stripped and then pulled Patrick up here, pulling off his shirt and giving him a total standing lap dance and then he got lucky." Ray said, shrugging it off.

"Oh really?" She looked at me, then to Patrick, who was sitting next to me. Instead of being all pissy like any normal mom would, she surprised all of us.

"You better have a girl."

"WHAT?!" Patrick and I both screamed.

"I want a granddaughter! There's nothing wrong with that," She said, opening the fridge and pulling out some milk. While everyone else laughed at us, Patrick sunk down in his seat, pulling his hat over his face like he did when he finished singing to me, and I pressed my forehead onto the table. Andy stood up on the table and started impersonating me.

"I'M A MONSTER HAHAHA! EAT YOU LIKE A CANNIBAL, SPIT YOU OUT LIKE AN ANIMAL!" He pulled his black shirt off, throwing it onto Jake's head.

"You're an asshole." I stood up and walked out of Patrick's house, Patrick and Ronnie behind me.

"Ignore him. You're right; Andy can be an asshole." Patrick said when him and Ronnie caught up to me halfway up the block.

"The problem, _Patrick,_ is that he is correct. _I am a slut and Brendon was right."_


	3. No One Can Find The Rewind Button

**TITLE: BREATHE (2 AM) BY ANNA NALICK**

**CAUSE YOU CAN'T JUMP THE TRACK WE'RE LIKE CARS ON A CABLE, AND LIFE'S LIKE AN HOURGLASS GLUED TO THE TABLE, NO ONE CAN FIND THE REWIND BUTTON GIRL, SO CRADLE YOUR HEAD IN YOUR HANDS, AND BREATHE… JUST BREATHE, OH BREATHE… JUST BREATHE**

Ronnie looked at me, angry.

"No! He wasn't right! I swear! I'm gonna kill him, I swear to hell!" Ronnie said. We were across the street from Brendon's house, coincidentally. He ran up and pounded on the door.

"Ronnie, no!" I screamed. Patrick and I ran after him. Before we could pull him away, Brendon answered and was promptly punched by Ronnie.

"YOU BASTARD! SHE WASN'T CHEATING ON YOU! LOOK AT HER FACE! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER! AND NOW I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Patrick tried to pull Ronnie off of Brendon.

"Ronnie! Ronnie stop! Please! Ronnie, please! For me… Ronnie, stop." I whispered the last part as Patrick finally pulled Ronnie away from Brendon. Bren wiped his face, nose bleeding. Ronnie was going to have a black eye like mine.

"Ronnie, you of all people should know she was cheating on me. You too, Patrick. Yeah, I know about all the times you guys texted, and how she told me she was sick and then went off and screwed both of you. Well, I'm not going to keep getting lied to. I'm done with her."

"Kay, first off, SHE WASN'T CHEATING ON YOU, BRENDON BOYD URIE. Second, she really was sick. The fact that she asked if we could come over when she was ACTUALLY sick was because her parents were out of town and she had the flu. NOT because she was faking it and cheating on you." Patrick was fuming.

"Yeah, whatever. I should have guessed that you two would be the ones that my girlfriend would cheat with."

"Shut your mouth! She LOVED you, Bren! SHE LOVED YOU! WHY WOULD SHE CHEAT ON YOU IF SHE LOVED YOU?" Ronnie shouted.

"BRENDON! JUST STOP, OKAY?! THEY'RE RIGHT, I LOVED YOU! But you went and did this to me. How can I love you when you don't even trust me?" I was crying. Ronnie grabbed my hand, and Patrick wrapped an arm around my shoulder. They would always protect me. "Brendon, I really, really loved you. I trusted you. Why couldn't you trust me?"

Brendon just shook his head and looked away in irritation. "Don't expect to hear from me, guys. See you around." He shut the door and the three of us sat there, looking stupid. Then of course I had to pull a stupid move and start pounding on the door.

"WAIT! BRENDON PLEASE! BABY PLEASE! I'M SORRY! BREN PLEASE! LET ME EXPLAIN! PLEASE BRENDON! OPEN THE DOOR! PLEASE!" Ronnie grabbed my arm and looked at me solemnly.

"Come on Cam. It's not worth it."

"No! Please! Brendon please, give me another chance!"

"CAMREN! It's not worth it!" Ronnie roared at me.

"I know," I said sadly. I allowed Ronnie and Patrick to drag me down the porch steps and down the street to Ronnie's.

We got there, and Ronnie quietly opened the door and snuck inside, motioning for us to wait. We waited for a moment, and then Ronnie came back, letting us in.

"Be really quiet. My dad's asleep in his room."

We snuck into Ronnie's room and sat on the bed. His walls were painted a light grey, or at least that's what it looked like. They may have just been a very dirty white. They didn't have anything on them. His bed was messy and unmade, covered with papers that had random lyrics written all over them. He quickly changed his clothes while I was forced to shut my eyes, so stuck my tongue out at him.

When he finished changing, he grabbed his car keys and wallet and we made our way back outside, still staying as quiet as possible to avoid waking Ronnie's psycho dad up.

We all got in the car, Ronnie driving with me in the passenger seat and Patrick in the back.

We drove for a while. When we passed Patrick's house, we were flagged down by Spencer and Billie, who climbed in the car, filling in the extra seats. We all talked and laughed about stupid things. I was trying to forget about Brendon and my drunken actions from the night before, and hanging out with my friends really helped.

We went to get lunch, since it was about 11:45. We went to McDonald's, and ordered our food. As I ate my parfait, fries and chicken-less salad, I watched the guys down burgers in disgust. "How can you eat that stuff? It's so cruel, what they do to the poor cows!"

"Hey Veggie Burger, if you love animals so much why do you eat all their food?" Spence asked me through a mouth full of burger.

"Just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean my name is Veggie Burger, Spence. And FYI, I love animals, but you eat their food too. Lettuce in salads, fruit, veggies, animals eat that stuff too," I said, standing up. "I have to go refill my drink, I'll be right back."

"Kay," Billie said, scarfing down a chicken nugget.

As I refilled my drink, an older guy with a scruffy beard and tattoos came and stood next to me. He looked like one of those stereotype biker dudes. "Which one of those loser punks did that to your face?" he asked. I had completely forgotten about my bruises from Brendon. "Tell me honey. Abusive little assholes like them don't deserve to breathe."

"Um, it wasn't any of them," I said, uncomfortable. I put the lid on my Coke and turned to leave. The guy grabbed my arm.

"Tell. Me. Now. Emo fags like them really don't deserve to breathe either, so if you don't tell me which one hurt a pretty little thing like yourself I'll just go take care of all of them." Now I was mad. No one got away with insulting the guys.

"For your information, they aren't 'emo fags', they're people, just like me and you. Although I'm not entirely sure you're human, judging from the inherent lack of brainpower you've shown in the two minutes I've known you. Also, the guy with the longer black hair and tattoos already took care of the guy who did this to me. Those four guys sitting at that table are like my brothers, and they protect me from pretty much everything. Because of that, all I have to do is say one of their names and they will come to help me. Now, please let go of me."

"I'd like to see those wimpy looking fags come help you."

"RONNIE!" I yelled for Ronnie. Although I was playing it cool on the outside, I was panicking, and it came through when I called for Ronnie, struggling to break out of Biker Guy's grasp.

"Let go of her." I heard Spence say.

"You Ronnie?" Biker Guy asked.

"No, he's not. I am." Ronnie gave a little wave. He was a full head taller than Biker Guy, but that didn't intimidate the short bald man.

"Yeah, and I'm Billie! And this is Patrick and Spence. And that girl you're scaring is Cam."

"Billie? Wanna cut the introductions please?" I asked, still struggling.

"Oh yeah. But seriously dude, you're hurting her, and I don't want to have to hurt you, so… You should let go now."

"Yeah, okay son. You're a real funny kid, you know that? But, I don't really wanna let go until one of you fesses up to hurting this girlie here."

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU! It wasn't them! Are you mentally retarded or something?!"

"And I already told you that you don't have to lie anymore. They won't hurt you anymore."

"YOU ARE SO STUPID!"

"It was me." Patrick stepped forward. "I'm the one that hit her and bruised her up like that."

"Patrick! What the hell are you doing?!" I hissed through clenched teeth.

"It was you then? You're the one that hit this girl?"

"Yes sir. I did it."

"Come here," Biker Guy said, letting go of me. I threw myself in front of Patrick.

"He's lying! The guy that did it, his name is Brendon. It wasn't this guy!"

"Cam, move. I know what I'm doing," Patrick whispered to me.

"Let him through missy." Biker Guy shoved me to the side, sending me crashing into Billie. Biker Guy decked Patrick, who fell over, hitting his head on the counter, causing his head to whip back way too far as he hit tile and passed out. I saw his arm twist under him with a sickening crunch, and I'm almost positive his neck broke as well. I started screaming and Billie held me back while Ronnie and Spence started fighting Biker Guy.

"Hey! Hey, what's going on here?!" Some manager lady came over to us. Biker Guy was momentarily distracted and Ronnie seized the opportunity and tackled him, pinning him down. Billie let go of me and I got down next to Patrick, cradling his head in my lap. His hat fell off, and I put it on my own head as I related what happened to the manager lady.

"That dude right there asked me who had hurt me, and then he said that my friends are emo fags who don't deserve to live, and then my friends came to help me, and he hurt Patrick,"

"Did anyone else see what happened before your friends came over?"

"I did," a woman who looked like she was about 23 said. She was sitting at the table closest to the soda fountains. "Everything she said is true."

"Oh my gosh, Patrick is bleeding! Call 911!" I screeched. The manager lady dialed the number and about three minutes later, 2 police officers and some paramedics showed up. The officers took Biker Guy into custody as Patrick was loaded onto a stretcher with a neck brace. I hadn't left his side since Billie had let go of me, and I still had his hat on my head. As they wheeled him out, I screamed at Biker Guy. "YOU MONSTER! I HATE YOU! IF YOU KILLED PATRICK, I WILL SUE YOUR ASS FROM HERE TO THE AFTERLIFE, YOU HEAR ME?"

"Ma'am, please calm down," one of the paramedics said.

"If I calm down, will you let me stay with Patrick?" The paramedic nodded and I shut my mouth, walking next to the stretcher and the still passed out and bleeding Patrick. Ronnie, Billie and Spence got in the car and followed the ambulance as we sped to the emergency room. I held Patrick's hand the whole way there, failing in my attempts to hold in my tears. "Patrick, if you can hear me, you have to be okay, okay? Patrick, I can't keep going without you. You're my best friend. You're the one I come to with everything. Patrick, you have to stay with me, because… because you have to! If not for me, then for Ronnie, and Spence, and Billie, and Gerard, and Mikey, and Ray, and Frank, and Andy, and Ashley, and Pete, and Jake. But I'd love it if you hung on for me, because… because I- I- I love you Patrick. You're the closest thing to family I've ever had, Patrick, please, you have to hold on for me honey, I can't go on with out you. Please. Please stay with me," I bawled onto the shoulder of the paramedic who was sitting next to me in case I had another violent outburst. When we got to the hospital, I kissed Patrick's lips lightly before I was pulled off of him and he was wheeled into the ICU to make sure he was okay. I was left in the waiting room, alone, watching Patrick being moved farther and farther away from me.


	4. I'm Telling You TheTruth

**TITLE: I'M NOT OKAY (I PROMISE) BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE**

**BUT YOU REALLY NEED TO LISTEN, BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH, I MEAN THIS, I'M OKAY! (TRUST ME)**

I cried into my hands for a minute when Ronnie, Billie, and Spence came running in.

"How is he? Any change?"

"No. Everything's the same," I lied. Everything was different now. I had finally confessed my deep and hidden secret that had been mine since I was in kindergarten, and now Patrick might die and he'll never even know.

"I called Pete and Andy. Everyone is on their way here. It's gonna be okay, Cam," Spence said, rubbing my shoulder. The four of us huddled together, holding hands and praying that Patrick would be okay. When the other guys got there, we all sat down together on the floor, holding hands, and each of us, even Andy the Atheist, taking turns praying that Patrick would be okay.

After the longest 6 hours of our lives, a doctor came out. Gerard, Spence and I were the only ones awake, with everyone else crashed on the uncomfortable couches and the cold tile floors.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Wilcox. Are these your friends here Miss Young?"

"Ah, yeah. If they're asleep, they're with me. Oh, and these two as well. This is Spencer Smith and Gerard Way."

"Yes, well, Miss Young, Mr. Stump is out of surgery and is doing well. He should be awake soon, and since you were in the ambulance with him, I figured you'd want to be there when he wakes up."

"Can I bring one of the guys with me?"

"Yes, but only one." I looked at Gerard, who nodded and understood.

"Spence, will you wake everyone up and let them know what's going on?"

"Yeah. Go, he's gonna wake up soon."

Gerard and I walked down the hallway hand in hand behind Dr. Wilcox. He led us into the ICU and into a room with Patrick's name on the door. He ushered us in, and when I saw Patrick, I couldn't bear to look at him.

Patrick was hooked up to almost 10 different monitors, and had wires attached to him in almost as many places. Each rise and fall of his chest as he breathed in and out looked unbelievably motorized. He had bandages wrapped around his neck, and a trachea tube had been placed into his neck, the bandages carefully wrapped around it. He looked very, very pale, and had a cast on his left arm.

I pressed my face into Gerard's shoulder, crying. He wrapped his arm around me as I clutched to his leather jacket. The doctor directed us to a pair of seats next to the bed. I sat down in one, moving closer to the bed so I could hold Patrick's hand, and Gerard followed, holding my free hand. Not caring I wasn't alone I spoke to Patrick like I had in the ambulance.

"Patrick, listen to me. You're going to be fine. Everything is going to go back to normal. I promise. When you wake up, I'll be right here, okay baby? I'll always be right here for you. Now, I need you to wake up so that I can kiss you and let you hear everything I said to you, except for real this time. Please, wake up. Don't lay there forever. Please," I cried. I rubbed small circles into his hand as the doctor checked the monitors. "Patrick, please. I love you; I need you to be okay. Wake up, please. I'm right here, and so is Gerard. We're waiting for you to wake up. We'll stay here all night if we have to, because we both love you. Patrick please, wake up. Please, if you aren't okay who's going to let me live at their house, and who else is gonna let me keep all my clothes in their dresser, and who else is gonna put up with me when I'm on my period? Please Patrick, I need you to wake up. YOU need you to wake up."

All of a sudden, the monitors started to beat more rapidly. Patrick's eyelids started to move, just the tiniest bit. I squeezed Gee's hand tighter, knowing that things might actually end up okay.

"Now, Mr. Stump won't be able to speak for a while. But, you can work out a system. Also, he is paralyzed from the neck down as of this time." I comprehended what the doctor said but didn't let the pain that came with the words show. I simply nodded and squeezed Patrick's hand a little.

"Patrick? Baby, are you there?" Patrick's eyes slowly opened, finding my gaze first. I cannot tell you how happy it made me that I was the first person he saw. I smiled at him as the doctor spoke.

"Patrick? If you can hear me, blink twice." Patrick shut his eyes and then opened them repeating the action once more. I smiled again as his eyes moved back to me.

"Baby, if you heard what I said to you earlier, blink twice." Again, he blinked twice. "Did you hear me in the ambulance?" Blink blink. I smiled and wiped a tear away. "I meant it, all of it. Are you creeped out? If you are, blink twice." Only one blink this time. "Do you feel the same?" Two blinks. I smiled as I cried, placing a hand over my mouth. I was so relieved he was okay. "Patrick, chill here and talk to Gee for a sec. I'll be back." Patrick looked a little sad, but I smiled at him reassuringly as I pulled the doctor into the hallway. "Alright, Dr. Wilcox. Two, things. One, he has a group of 11 people who came to wait for him. All of them want to see him, but we are a family and asking us to go one at a time will hurt Patrick as much as it will piss us off. And two, when's he going to be able to come home?"

"Well Miss Young, I will see what I can do to get all 11 of you in at once, and not for a while I'm afraid."

"Alright. Can you please go get my friends? They're all worried sick, and to be frankly honest, most of them were crying, which is something I've never, ever seen, and I've known all of them since kindergarten."

"Alright Miss Young. I will bring them in."

"Thank you," I said as I walked back into see Patrick.

After a few minutes of me and Gee sitting, talking to Patrick while tears of relief streamed down our faces, the guys came in with Dr. Wilcox, who did a quick check on Patrick's vitals. The door was shut after Dr. Wilcox left, leaving the twelve of us alone in the room. The new arrivals sat down on the floor and on the window seat on the far side of the room. I told Ashley to open the blinds of the window, and I was glad I did.

A breathtaking sunset filled the window with a mess of orange, pink, red and purple. It was beautiful. We didn't get sunsets like that often here in Jersey, because of all the smog and pollution.

"Wow. That's really pretty," Frank said. I looked at Patrick and realized he couldn't see it, since he couldn't move his neck.

"Guys, help me rotate the bed so Patrick can see," I said. "We have to be really, really careful to not unplug any of the monitors," I added.

Ray, Ronnie, Billie and Spence helped me to shift the bed so Patrick could see. I moved my chair once again so I was next to him, holding his hand. I realized after a few minutes of all of us chit chatting and asking Patrick questions that I was still wearing his blue fedora. I took it off and placed it on his light brown hair.

"There. I realized you probably still needed one of those," I said with a smile. He blinked three times, which we had established to mean thank you.

"I have an idea!" Mikey said a second later. He grabbed Pete. "We'll be back in a few minutes. To Wal-Mart!" Mikey cried as he dragged Pete up off the floor. They left the room, shutting the door behind them, but we could hear their pounding steps as they ran for the ICU's exit. We all sat around for a while more. The sun had gone down, and now it was just the typical New Jersey night sky. Black velvet without a hint that stars even existed, let alone showed.

Pete and Mikey came back after a half hour, just as we were moving Patrick's bed back.

"Kay, so we got a couple of poster boards, a sharpie, scotch tape and a book on Morse Code," Mikey said proudly.

"Why do we need all that?" Frank asked from his perch in the window. Not the window _seat_, mind you, but the actual window.

"Well, Pat needs to communicate more than just yes, no, and thank you. So, if we make a poster of Morse Code, he can form words with that!"

"Michael James Way! You're a genius!" Jake said, ruffling Mikey's hair.

"I try."

"Hey, I was the one who thought to buy… the… I WAS THERE TOO, OKAY?" Pete said.

"Oh Petey-Weety! You are such a smart boy too!" I said, speaking in baby talk. Pete was not impressed.

The materials were spread out on the floor and between Pete, Mikey, and Ray, Ash, Ronnie, and Andy, and Spencer, Billie, and Frank, we got three posters made. They were posted on the wall directly across from Patrick, next to the window, and on the back of the door.

We were watching cartoons and admiring our handiwork when Dr. Wilcox came in. He questioned us about the posters, and we explained.

"That was very clever. Good thinking. But, I'm afraid most of you must go. Only two may stay. You can all come back at 7:30 tomorrow. Who will be staying?"

"Patrick? It's your choice, man." Billie said after a long moment of silence, all of us silently fighting for the right to stay. Patrick blinked out the two names, alternating long and short blinks.

R-O-N-N-I-E

C-A-M

"Um, looks like Ronnie? And Cam?" Dr. Wilcox said. He had written down the letters as they were blinked out, and I wondered why we hadn't thought of that.

Ronnie and I hugged everyone on their way out, me actually hugging them, Ronnie doing that stupid guy hug.

Once everyone had left and Patrick had fallen asleep, I asked Ronnie why guys hugged like that.

"Well, having the hands in between keeps you from getting too close to whoever it is you're hugging."

"What's the matter with getting close to someone else?"

"Cam. It's a matter of personal space," Ronnie said, crossing his arms and leaning back, head resting on the window. I was still in the chair by Patrick's bed.

"It's not that big of a deal. Girls hug each other tightly all the time. I hug all of you normally and you never make a big deal out of it!" I said.

"Cam! Come on, it's just different!"

"How is it any different?!"

"GUYS DON'T WANT TO TOUCH SOME OTHER GUY'S DICK WITH THEIR OWN DICK!"

"Really? That's stupid. Girls have boobs! Their boobs touch all the time! Hell, I mean, when I hug you, you're so much taller than me that your dick is like, right there, and my boobs are all up against you and whatever and neither of us freak out! Girls don't care if their boobs touch or if their boobs get smashed when someone hugs them. But if two guys dicks accidentally touch for the .2 seconds a hug lasts, then it's all awkward. You're so dumb," I laughed.

"Dicks are different than boobs," Ronnie said defensively.

"Well no DUH, Dick Tracey. Wait a second . well no shit,Sherlock. But still, it's the same principle."

"Whatever. Find me a blankie. I'm tired."

"Find your own blanket. Dick." I grinned at him as he got up and found us both blankets.

"Do you want to sleep first or should I?" he asked.

"Why does it matter?" I replied.

"Well, someone has to be awake to make sure everything is okay and to call a nurse and whatever if something goes wrong. I'll stay up first. You can sleep for like, 4 hours, then I'll wake you up and you can watch for 4 hours. By then it'll be time for everyone to come back, and we'll go get some more sleep and then come back."

"Don't you need to sleep?"

"You forget I have insomnia. I don't usually go to bed until 3. So this will be normal for me." Ronnie said, with a slight eyebrow wiggle.

"Okay… can I have the window seat?" I was already standing.

"Sure. See you in four, Sleeping Beauty." I flipped him off and lay down on the window seat. I bunched up my friend's jacket, converting it into a makeshift pillow. I fell asleep like that, the smell of my temporary pillow reminding me of Ronnie as I fell asleep to the steady beeping sounds coming out of the monitors that let me know Patrick was still alive. I slept dreamlessly, and I didn't feel like I had slept for four hours when Ronnie shook me awake.

"Hey, wake up. It's your turn. I snuck out for a second and I brought you this delicious cup of liquid wake up."

"Damn, you sound like Gee," I said, stretching. The coffee smelled ah-mazing, and I took the paper cup gratefully from Ronnie as I sat up. I felt the hot liquid pour down my throat and hit my stomach, warming my body. It was made how I like it, as hot as possible, with a packet of Splenda and a little bit of cream. My passion for coffee was every bit as bad as Mikey and Gerard's. Frank and Ray were horrible about the coffee addiction too.

We couldn't help it- coffee was just too damn good to resist.

"Jeez Cam. You are a freaking addict!"

"Hey, every one to their own. Pick your poison and all. Mine, Gee's, Mikey's, Frankie's, and Torosaurus's just happens to be the same thing."

"Did you just call Ray 'Torosaurus'?"

"Would you prefer Frosaur or Tyrannosaurus Ray?" I said with a grin. Ronnie smiled and shook his head.

"Well, I'm going to go to sleep now, so… Yeah. Wake me up if you need anything," Ronnie said as he took my place on the window seat. I nodded and went to the chair by the bed. I felt myself start to doze, so I jumped up and shook Ronnie awake.

"Hey Ronnie," I said. "Hey, where's the coffee machine?"

"Down the hall to the left about ten feet," he mumbled.

"Thanks." I walked out of the room really quickly, made three more coffees, and carried them all back to the room. I set two of them down on a counter underneath the TV, and drank the first one. I flipped the TV on, turning the volume down so I wouldn't wake up either of the boys. I just sat there, watching TV.

I remembered I needed to take my pills. I dug the bottle out of my purse and popped three of the small orange-y tan pills in my mouth. I felt calmer about a half hour later, once the pills had settled and taken effect.

I drank the other two coffees at 5:00 and 6:00. When 7:30 rolled around though, I could barely keep my eyes open. The rest of my friends walked in to find me asleep with my forehead resting on the edge of Patrick's bed and holding his hand, and Ronnie still asleep on the window seat.

"Yo, wake up. Come on, rise and shine," Frankie said as he shook me awake.

"Aw shit. Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah. It's okay. You and Ronnie both need to sleep. Like, in a bed, not on the window seat," Ray said, shaking Ronnie awake.

"Yeah, I'm freaking exhausted. Ronnie and I took turns staying up last night. He stayed up until 3 while I slept, and then we switched off. I've already had four coffees this morning, and yet I still managed to fall asleep," I said, punctuating the statement with a yawn.

"Well, I'll take you home," Billie said.

"Thanks B," Ronnie said. I gave Patrick a quick kiss on the forehead, and made the guys promise to call us when he woke up. They did, and Billie, Ronnie, and I made our way out of the hospital.

Ronnie didn't stay at his own house too often because his dad was an abusive psycho, so Billie dropped us both off at my house. We went inside and crashed on my bed, side by side. I set my alarm clock for noon, and then we both fell asleep under my purple blanket.

When I woke up, it wasn't because of my alarm clock. It was because my mother was home. And she was screaming at me.

I sat up, groggily untangling myself from Ronnie.

"YOU SLUT! YOU WHORE! SLEEPING WITH THAT DIRTBAG? YOU'RE PATHETIC! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"Mom! I'm not sleeping with him; it's actually the opposite! If you were around more, maybe you'd know that we spent the night in the hospital, because Patrick broke his neck and is in the ICU because of it! We stayed with him all night, and we're exhausted! NOTHING IS GOING ON."

"How the hell did Patrick break his neck? And why did you and Ronnie stay? And why the hell can't he go sleep at his own house?!"

I stood up in front of my mother. I could have been looking in a mirror. My mother and I had the same eyes, same nose, same high cheekbones and pale complexions. We also had the same curl in our hair, just with different colors. "Mom, Patrick broke his neck trying to help me. A guy was about to assault me, and Patrick stepped in and saved me, but the guy attacked him. Patrick fell and hit his head on a counter, but he broke his neck in the process. We asked him when he woke up from surgery who he wanted to stay, and he wanted Ronnie and I to stay. And you know damn good and well why Ronnie can't stay at his own house," I said. I was mad at my mother, for more than just waking me up. I was mad that she didn't trust me.

"Who bruised your face up?"

"Bren. He thought I was cheating on him, even though I wasn't. He got mad," I said, trying to shrug off the hurt.

"I'm sorry honey. I just don't know that I like who Ronnie has become. He used to be such a sweet boy, so helpful and polite. He was adorable, too."

"Mom, he still is all of those things. He's still Ronnie. He's still funny, goofy, sweet, kind Ronnie. People can change their appearances without changing their personalities."

"I guess. Just, be careful Camren. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'll be fine mom," I said, rolling my eyes and getting back in bed. Ronnie had slept through the whole fight, and I was glad he had, but still, I apologized to his sleeping form once my mother had retreated from the room. "Ronnie, I'm sorry my mom's a bitch. I'm sorry she freaked out and wanted to murder you for sleeping in the same bed as me. She's a psycho."

"You're fine," he said with a grin and a little giggle.

"UGH, YOU WERE AWAKE? Ronnie!" I playfully slapped his arm, and he pulled the blanket up over his head to shield him. "You suck!"

"Sure do," he said with another laugh, muffled from being under the blanket.

"Screw you!"

"Go right ahead," he said, popping his head a little ways out from under the blanket, just so I could see his eyes and the top of his head.

"Yeah," I said sarcastically, matching Ronnie's position so he wouldn't see me blush. I really did want to screw him.

"What the hell! I saw that blush!" he said, popping out from under the blanket. "Why didn't you say ever say anything?!"

"Because I didn't think you liked me like that,"

"Well I do!"

"Well why didn't you say anything!"

"Cause. I figured you'd never go for it, because you had Brendon and Patrick both falling all over you, and then there was just me, just big dumb Ronnie Radke, the badass with a reputation."

"Ronnie! You do realize that I was totally in love with you for a couple of years, right? I mean, good Lord Ronnie, I planned our wedding when I was 14!" He smirked.

"Really?"

"Yeah! If you had asked me out, I would have died, then come back to life just so I could say yes."

"Then why'd you go out with Bren?"

"Because I thought that ever being with you was a lost cause. I figured that you would never want to be with me, so I gave up on that and did my best to move on."

"Did you?"

"Not really," I sighed.

"Wanna give it a try?" Ronnie asked me in all seriousness.

"Ronnie, I would freaking love that more than you could imagine," I sighed.

"Then why don't we get together," Ronnie whispered into my ear. I shivered when his breath touched me, still smiling.

"Let's do it." I said with a smile. Ronnie wrapped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head as I fell back asleep.

I've never been happier.


	5. I'm Not A Vampire

**TITLE: I'M NOT A VAMPIRE BY FALLING IN REVERSE**

**WELL I'M NOT A VAMPIRE, BUT I FEEL LIKE ONE, SOMETIMES I SLEEP ALL DAY, BECAUSE I HATE THE SUNLIGHT, MY HANDS ARE ALWAYS SHAKING, BODY'S ALWAYS ACHING, AND THE DARK IS WHEN I FEED**

We woke up a few hours later to my alarm clock buzzing. Ronnie unwrapped his arms from my waist, and I sleepily yawned and smiled at him. He stood up and pulled me out of bed, since I was trying to sneak back to sleep.

"Nope, come on. We have to go see Patrick."

"Fine." I changed my clothes in the bathroom and then we left again. We walked back over to Ronnie's house so he could change his clothes. I waited on the porch for him again, but this time, I heard yelling from inside. I wanted to run in and help Ronnie, but I couldn't. He dealt with this all the time, and I knew that he'd be fine. When he came out a few minutes later, he was dressed.

"What now?" I asked, trying to see what I could do to help.

"My dad is an asshole, as usual," he spat out bitterly. He flipped off the front door and we walked away.

"Hey, Ronnie? I just realized something…"

"What?" He said, holding my hand as we walked down the sidewalk.

"Um, we don't have a ride to the hospital, because your car is still there, and I don't have a car."

"Shit. I'll call Billie and make him come get us." He called Billie and we started walking in the direction of the hospital. We just talked about random stuff while we walked. It was nice to get my mind off Patrick for a while. Billie picked us up, and I got in the back and Ronnie took shotgun. We drove back in silence, and when we got to the hospital, we went as quickly as we could to the hospital room where Patrick was. When we opened the door, we saw all the guys and Patrick's mom.

We smiled and joined the "party". Music was playing out of someone's iPod that they had put on a dock. The song was Kristy Killings by Snow White's Poison Bite. Andy, Ashley, and Jake all knew it, but no one else did. I recognized it after a minute and started sing along with the three of them. We all danced around to the music, and as each song played, we all sang along to the ones we knew, and danced to the ones we didn't. After a few minutes of this, a nurse came in halfway through a BOTDF song.

"Hey, what's going on in here?"

We all froze, like deer caught in the headlights.

"You're listening to Garret Ecstasy instead of Jayy Von Monroe? That's crazy!" Everyone else looked around, totally confused, but I laughed and high fived the nurse. "Alright guys, I know you're having fun, but you all need to quiet it down. Also, you have to hit the road until… 3:00. The doctors have to do some check up stuff on Patrick, and only his mom can stay."

We all groaned but picked up our stuff and went. We ended up cramming all 11 of us into an elevator to go up on the roof, where there was a garden and lots of good hiding spots for hide and seek. We made Pete count first, and then we all went and hid in different places around the roof. I ended up climbing a tree, and who should I find in the tree but Jake! We giggled quietly at each other as Pete finished counting and started searching. It was difficult to not bust out laughing when he stopped right below Jake and I, looking around, obviously confused. We somehow managed to hold it together.

After about 5 minutes of searching, Pete had found all of us, except Jake and I. At this point everyone was searching for us, and Jake and I were about to explode in a fit of giggles.

"ALRIGHT, COME OUT! WE SURRENDER!" Pete yelled. Jake and I silently agreed to stay in the tree. "COME ON GUYS! THIS ISN'T VERY FAIR!"

After making all of the guys beg for us to come out, we couldn't take it any more and exploded in laughter. We watched as everyone came running, looking for us, and finally, Gerard found us.

"YOU'RE IN THE TREE?! COME ON!" He yelled, grinning. Jake helped me climb down, and all 11 of us were laughing at this point.

"That was a good idea you two," Ashley said.

"Thanks," I said. After that, we decided to go get some food before we came back to be with Patrick.

Ronnie, Ashley, Gerard, Spence and I climbed into Ronnie's car, Mikey, Jake, Frank, Pete, Ray and Andy squished into Pete's car. We followed Pete wherever it was that Pete went, and ended up pulling into Sonic. We all got food and then drove around for a while.

We went back to Patrick's house so we could get some stuff for him.

We went back to the hospital and the rest of the day passed normally. We decided to take turns staying with Patrick at night, and so at 9:00 the doctor kicked us out and Ashley and Billie stayed.

Two weeks passed like that, us going to see him in the morning, and two staying with him at night.

Things had changed. I started taking 4 of the pills, meaning I was taking 80 milligrams of an anti depressant a day. I was only supposed to take 20. But I needed the medicine to cope with the stress and the sadness. If I didn't take them, I would probably have killed myself. I acted a little differently, but nothing I couldn't pass off as side effects of staying up.

The first Monday in September marked our first day as high school seniors. None of us wanted to go to school without Patrick, but he insisted that we go, so we did.

On that Monday, Ronnie picked Gerard, Mikey, Spence and I up from our houses and drove us to school. As I slung my Elmo backpack over my shoulder and left the car, I looked down at my outfit. Purple skinny jeans, black pyramid stud belt, black NeverShoutNever! shirt, and black Converse. Ronnie and I walked in together, behind the other three. Ronnie was wearing a pair of red jeans, a white shirt and a black and red leopard print scarf, with a pair of white boots and some sunglasses. He had on a belt similar to mine. I had to admit, he looked pretty damn hot.

We walked into the main office and picked up our schedules. I had English first, then math and creative writing before lunch. After lunch, I had science, gym and choir.

Ronnie had English, math, gym, and lunch, then science, auto and choir.

We went and found the rest of our friends, discovering that Ronnie and I had lunch with everyone, since all the seniors had lunch at that time. We had English with Ashley, Jake and Pete, math with Pete, Gerard, Mikey and Spence, and I had creative writing by myself. Then after lunch, we had science with… everyone. SCORE! I had gym with Mikey, Frank, Ray and Jake, and in choir I was with Ronnie, Gerard, Andy, Billie, Pete and Ashley. We all said bye and went off to our classes. Poor Mikey, he was on his way to auto all by himself. I felt bad for the kid, but at the same time, I was glad it wasn't me.

Ashley, Jake, Pete, Ronnie and I sat in the back corner. That's where we had always sat in classrooms. We preferred to stay in the back; people didn't bother us as much.

Of course, Brendon was in this class. No one had bothered to tell him about Patrick. He didn't want to hang out with us anymore, and so we wouldn't tell him anything.

Class began. We had a really relaxed and very laid-back teacher named Mr. Dirnt.

He told us that class rules that were chosen by the principal for the first 15minutes, and then let us talk for the last half hour.

When class got out, Ronnie and I went to my locker. Our lockers were on opposite sides of the school, which was sad, but my locker was really close to our math class, so we went over there before heading to math. We sat down with Pete, Gee, Mikey and Spence and talked until class started. Mrs. Amane was completely different than Mr. Dirnt. She was very strict and already had a seating chart! The asian woman made a big mistake with her seating chart. She split my friends and me up! Ronnie got put next to the door, on the end of the front row, and I was on the other end. Spence and Mikey were in the middle of the back row and Pete and Gee were in the middle row.

I looked to my right with about five minutes of class left, trying to get Ronnie's attention since we had free time, but the kid next to me foiled my efforts. He had shaggy black hair, a nose piercing, and was wearing a Death Cab For Cutie shirt with a gray scarf.

"Hey!"

"Uh, hi…" I said awkwardly.

"I'm Destery Moore."

"Uh, Camren Young. Your name is Dess-Tree?"

"Yeah, that's how you say it. I'm Destery!" He gave a strange sideways grin, showing off his braces. He wiggled his eyebrows and laughed. "Nice to meet you Camren. I'm new, and you're the first person I've met in this hell-hole," he said.

"Oh, that's why I didn't recognize you. Sorry you met me first. I'm the social outcast emo chick who only has guys as friends."

"Seriously?! Well I can understand why you'd only have guy friends. All the girls must be jealous of you, since you're so pretty," he blushed.

"Thanks, Destery, but I have a boyfriend. Well, actually I have two- never mind," I said, taking a deep breath and shaking my head. "Most people here are convinced I'm a prostitute or something. It's annoying. The guys are like my brothers, it would be gross to have sex with any of them."

"I can see why that would be annoying. Who's your boyfriend?"

"That guy, down on the end. Ronnie!" Ronnie looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back as Ronnie got out of his seat to come over and talk with us. "Ronnie, Destery, Destery, Ronnie."

"Hey," Ronnie said, sitting on the floor in front of us.

"What's up?"

"Nothing much. You aren't hitting on my girlfriend are you?"

"Naw. I tried, but she was like, 'Destery, I have a boyfriend,' and I was like, 'Oh, okay, I'll stop.' I'm not the kind of guy who treats girls like shit," Destery said, scrunching his face up.

"Good. 'Cause if you hurt her, she has 12 guys who'll kick your ass."

"What do you mean '12 guys'?"

"What Ronnie means is, I don't have any female friends, which means I have straight up guy friends. And they treat me like they would a little sister, if you understand."

"So they beat you up and tease you but turn around and deck someone for calling you a whore?" I laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Ronnie said. "Yo Destery, you wanna sit with us at lunch? You'll get along really well with the guys."

"Yeah, sure! Is it all right if my younger brother comes if he doesn't have anyone to sit with? His name's Jordan," Destery asked.

"Yeah, sure! Oh, I'm sure you'll want to meet a couple more of the guys," I said. I stood up and walked over to Pete and Gerard. I patted Pete's head. "This is Petey!" I said in a high-pitched Mom voice, pinching Pete's cheek. He scrunched his face up and swatted my hand away as I laughed. "This is Gee-Tard, and between me and you, I think he's kind of a freak," I said kissing Gee's cheek. I walked over to Spencer, who was completely absorbed in some book. "This is Spence. He's a nerd, but we love him anyway."

"Hey! I'm not that big of a nerd! Your forgetting the fact that Ashley, Mikey and Patrick still play Pokemon! And you're the one who acts like a freaking vampire!"

"DON'T DISS MY POKEMON!" Mikey said.

I laughed and went back to sit with Ronnie and Destery.

"First off, I am a huge vampire lover, but not the Twilight kind. And I do on occasion act like one, although I promise I'm not a vampire. So, that's a little less than half of my crazy group that you've met now. By the way, what do you have next?"

"Uh… art."

"Sweet!" Gerard yelled. "You're with me!" Destery smiled. The bell rang and we all got up to leave.

"Oh, Destery, I need to tell you something."

"Sure Camren, what's up?"

"Well first off, just call me Cam. Everyone else does. Second, don't talk to ANYONE about Ronnie and I being together. It's kind of a secret."

"Why?"

"Well, it's a long story, but the short version is, I recently dated a guy who used to be in our group, and he ended up beating me, and now he doesn't talk to us, and because he was beating me my best friend ended up in the hospital and it's a ridiculously long and complicated story and you get the point right?"

"Okay…?" Destery looked confused for a moment, then smiled. "See you at lunch!"

"Bye Destery!" I called as he walked into the hall. I threw my backpack on and walked out into the hall. Ronnie was waiting for me by the door.

"So, I figured I'd walk you to class since it's on the way to PE."

"You're too sweet," I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Come on, we're going to be late."

"Do you think we'll have enough time to go visit Patrick during lunch?" I asked as we walked down the hall.

"Well Cam, it depends. We have an hour for lunch. It takes ten minutes to drive there, visit for 20 minutes, and then drive for ten minutes to get back, and ten minutes to eat. I don't care if we do or don't. We'll ask the guys if they want to, though."

"Alright, sounds good." We walked along, chatting about Destery and class before we got to my classroom "Bye Ronnie, see you at lunch," I said, kissing his cheek. That wasn't easy, considering he was a full head taller than me.

"Bye Cam. Love you."

"Love you too," I said with a smile. I turned and walked into the classroom, leaving Ronnie out in the hallway.


	6. To Know A Brother's Love

**TITLE: ANGELS ON THE MOON BY THRIVING IVORY**

**THIS IS TO ONE LAST DAY IN THE SHADOWS, AND TO KNOW A BROTHER'S LOVE, THIS IS TO NEW YORK CITY ANGELS, AND THE RIVERS OF OUR BLOOD, THIS IS TO ALL OF US, TO ALL OF US**

I walked into my creative writing class, looking for any familiar faces. I saw a couple of people I recognized, and it made me nervous to be in the same room as them.

The first person I recognized was a girl with naturally black hair and icy blue eyes. You would have pegged her as one of my group if you didn't know her, but if you did, you would laugh at the thought of her talking to my friends and me. Her name was Amy, and she was the head cheerleader, and the school's most popular girl. She treated me like dirt, and all her "friends" did the same.

Lucky me, I got put in a class with Amy Lee.

The next person I saw was a boy who was sitting next to Amy. It was stupid Brendon freaking Urie.

I had been looking forward to this class.

There were about 6 more random people who hated me and made fun of me on a daily basis, and I groaned as I sat down in my customary back seat, and soon I felt a presence behind me.

"Oh my holy hell, Bert, go away."

"Uh, my name's not Bert," said Whoever-It-Was. I turned around and gave the kid a death glare.

"Well, that's good, because it means I don't have to fight you. But it's bad because you're probably here to make fun of me, so go ahead and get it over with."

"I don't want to make fun of you," he said, sliding into the desk next to mine. I stared at the boy for a moment.

He had longish hair that was a nice brown shade. The entire left side was shaved off, with his hair swooshed over to the right. His bangs hit him at his eyebrows when they were swooshed to the side like they currently were. He had a piercing on the side of his nose.

"You sure? Everyone else in this classroom wants to," I said bitterly.

"I'm sure. I'm Jordan Witzigreuter," he said, holding his hand out to me. I looked at the hand for a moment before shaking my head.

"You're committing social suicide, Jordan. I don't know if you're new, or if you are just in a lower grade, but it's not a good idea to talk to me. If you like having friends, don't be my friend."

"Uh, I'm both, actually. I'm in 10th, and I just moved here. I'd rather be friends with you than that guy," he said, gesturing to the creepy kid sitting up front. "And the girl with black hair, sitting up front? Yeah, she already shoved me into a bank of lockers this morning for saying hi," he said wincing.

I felt bad for the kid. Honestly I did, and I wanted to be friends with him and let him join our group, but if I did that, who would he hang out with next year, and the year afterwards? No one would accept him into their group if he hung out with the scary emo/punk/goth/vampire kids.

"I'm sorry about Amy, and I mean it when I say that I want to be your friend, but I don't want to be the murderer of your social life."

"What's your name?"

"Cam," I said.

"Nice. I like it. Tell me Cam, do I look like the type of person who hangs out with people like Amy?"

"No…"

"Do I look like I hang out with people like you?"

"Yes," I said, giving up.

"So, can I be your friend?"

"Fine. I'll show you to our table after this class. You have lunch next, right?"

"Yup!" Jordan smiled and turned to the front as class started.

The teacher introduced herself as Ms. Kelly, and called roll before asking each of us our names. We sat through the typical boring first day stuff, and then I told Jordan a little about each of the guys before the bell rang. We went out into the hallway and I found out that his locker was a little ways from mine.

We walked into the lunchroom, where I quickly scanned around for my friends. I found them crowded onto one of the long tables, and I dragged Jordan over there.

"JORDAN?!" Destery said as I squeezed in between Ronnie and Frank.

"Hey bro," Jordan said sheepishly.

"Wait, wait, wait. Destery, THIS Jordan is your brother?! You look nothing alike!" Ronnie asked.

"He's my step brother. But wait, how did you find him Cam?"

"We have creative writing together," I said. Destery nodded and Ronnie got our table to shut up for a minute.

"GUYS! SHUSH! Kay, thank you. Now, who wants to go see Patrick, raise your hands."

13 people raised their hands immediately as Jordan and Destery looked around in confusion.

"Who's Patrick?" Jordan asked.

"A friend of ours," Mikey quietly explained.

"Alright, I'll drive, and how about Pete drives. I'll take whoever it was that came with me this morning, and Pete, you get whoever came with you." Ronnie said.

"Where do we go?" Destery asked. "Is it okay if we come?"

"Sure, since you guys are part of the group now, you'll need to meet Patrick," Ray said as he popped some Cheetos in his mouth.

We all trudged out to the parking lot, and split into the two cars. We ended up cramming everyone from this morning, plus Frankie and Destery into the car, with Destrey and Jordan sitting on the floor. Pete had a van, so everyone else got in his car and we all drove over to the hospital. We walked to Patrick's room, hugging the nurse who had kicked us out the day after Patrick had been admitted. Her name was Elisabeth, and she could have fit in our group if she were our age.

"Why are we at a hospital?" Jordan whispered.

"Because," Ronnie said back. I made it to the door first and knocked before entering.

"Patrick? Hey, we came to visit you! And we have some people to meet you," I said. Patrick started blinking and Ashley wrote down the translation. Destery and Jordan looked confused until Frank explained.

"He can't talk from the surgery on his neck. This is how he communicates. It's Morse Code." Jordan and Destery nodded with enlightenment as Ashley read off the sentence.

"How is school?"

"It's okay. I mean, it is school after all." Patrick smiled. He started to blink again, and Ashley wrote down the letters once more.

"Watch this," he said, and we all watched Patrick. He glanced down at his hand and concentrated on it. After a moment of this, His fingers moved a little bit.

We all cheered and congratulated him.

"PATRICK! DUDE! THAT'S FREAKING AMAZING! YOU'LL BE OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT IF YOU KEEP THAT UP!" Jake said.

We all vocalized our agreement.

"Oh, shit, we almost forgot! Patrick, this is Destery and his step brother Jordan," Gerard said.

"Hey," Jordan mumbled, giving a wave and a smile.

"Nice to meet you," Destery said. "Like they said, I'm Destery, this Jordan. That thing with your hand was… cool," Patrick blinked out some letters, and this time Billie wrote them.

"He says thanks."

"You're welcome."

We all sat and talked and hung out for a while before we had to go. All of us, minus Destery and Jordan gave Patrick a quick hug before we left. Mikey promised we'd be back after school, and we all said bye as we left.

"So that's Patrick?" Destery asked as we walked back down the hall.

"Yup," I said, sighing. "He's an amazing, amazing guy. We've all been friends since kindergarten. Without him, none of us would have even talked to each other."

"That's cool. He seems like he's really cool. But, what was the big deal with the hand twitch?"

We all stopped and looked at Destery. "He's paralyzed from the neck down," Pete said from his place on Ray's back. Ray was giving him a piggyback ride. "_That_ is why the hand twitch is a big deal."

"Oh. God, I didn't even realize. I'm sorry. I'm an ass."

"No, you just didn't know. It's fine," Frank said as we continued walking.

"What happened?" Jordan asked, walking in between Destery and Billie.

"It's a long story. Basically what happened is he was trying to help me because this guy was going to assault me, and then the guy hit him, and Patrick fell and hit his head on a counter, and broke his neck," I said.

"Wow. I'm so sorry," Jordan said. We all stayed quiet as we got in the cars and made our way back to school. We made it back with just a few minutes to spare, and I couldn't bring myself to speak.

I felt guilty about Ronnie and Patrick, and it was stressing me out.

We all had science together, but Destery and Jordan had different classes. We said goodbye to our friends and walked to the classroom.

As we did, I felt jealous of Destery, and then when I looked at Gerard and Mikey, I felt that same pang of jealousy. I didn't have real brothers. I mean, yeah I had the guys, and they were LIKE my brothers, but it wasn't the same as having someone share the same flesh and blood as you.

When the 13 of us got to class, we sat at three tables in the back of the room. The teacher flat out told the class that if he caught us passing notes, texting, or talking to someone at another table, he'd give us detention for a week.

"But, Mr. Burton, what if it's about something sciencey?" I asked.

"Even then," he said. He turned around and I went back to my conversation with Spencer, who was sitting at the table next to mine. The class passed quickly, and I had the realization that we weren't going to learn anything in that class this year. When I shared the thought with the guys, they all laughed.

"Yeah, I think you're right Cam," Spence said.

We all walked to our different classes. As I changed for gym, I realized that maybe senior year would be better than the rest of my high school experience.

Of course, I had no idea what choir held in store.


	7. Raised By The Wolves

**TITLE: RAISED BY WOLVES BY FALLING IN REVERSE**

**I'M INSANE I AM SMART, ALL IT TAKES IS A SPARK TO IGNITE MY BAD INTENTIONS, AND DO WHAT I DO BEST TO YOUR HEART, DON'T BE FOOLED I WAS RAISED BY THE WOLVES, NOW THE MOON HANGS IN FULL SO YOU KNOW I WON'T, PLAY BY THE RULES**

I sat down on the stands in the choir room next to Ronnie, Gerard, and Andy. Billie, Pete and Ashley were sitting a few yards away on the floor, flirting with a couple of preppy looking girls who seemed to be ignoring them. I was resting my head on Ronnie's shoulder, and holding Gerard's hand. A couple of people turned around and glared at us. I have no idea why, but I was used to random glares and evil looks. They were my life.

Amy waltzed into the room, followed by her groupies, whose names were Taylor and Katy. I rolled my eyes and snuggled closer to Ronnie, and gave Gerard's hand a light squeeze.

"Yeah, um, what are you doing right here?" Amy asked. "This is our spot."

"Last I checked it didn't have your names on it," Gerard spat at them.

"Yeah, well, we've always sat in this spot. So, you should like, move," Katy said.

"No. We were here first. And last I checked, the title Queen Bitch didn't give you any right to boss us around," I said, standing up.

"Yeah, well, you need to move. I don't give a crap about you and your multiple boyfriends Camren," Amy said, looking at me angrily.

"Oh my holy hell Amy. It's a freaking spot, for hell's sake! It doesn't matter where you sit!" Andy said.

"Seriously! You're that pathetic that you'll pick a fight with the 'psycho vampire chick and her disgusting emo pig boyfriends' over a damn seat on some stands? Get a life!" Ronnie said. I didn't like the fact that Ronnie referenced Amy's favorite labels for us, but I was too pissed to care. Taylor and Katy were now arguing with Ronnie and Gerard, and Andy had retreated over to the other guys, who were laughing over their failed flirting.

"Amy! Why are you such an ass to me? What did I ever do to you?" I asked.

"You existed, that's what."

"I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU!"

"Yes actually, you did. You freaking took all the spotlight away from me when you freaking stumbled out onto the stage, singing some shitty emo song!"

"What?!"

"In 8th grade, you freaking waltzed onto the stage in the middle of my solo at the end of year concert! You were drugged up on cold medicine and Nyquil because you were sick, and you came on stage singing some stupid ass song that some gay ass bastards wrote! There were freaking scouts in the audience from a school that I wanted to get into so badly it hurt! I had everything they wanted! AND YOU MESSED IT UP! Now, I'm stuck in this shit hole with you and your gang of freaks, and with Dumb and Dumber here!"

"Oh my gosh. You are seriously STILL pissed about that? That's why you hate me? I take back what I said. You're not pathetic, Amy. YOU'RE A FREAKING PSYCHO BITCH!" Amy slapped me hard across the face. I tackled her, and we started clawing at each other's faces and screaming profanities at the top of our lungs. Taylor and Katy tried to pull Amy away from me, but I wouldn't go down with out a fight. I was on top of Amy, mercilessly punching her, pulling her hair, scratching her, doing everything I could to cause her pain. She had made my life hell for three years, and all the anger and hatred I felt towards her was coming out full force from every pore in my body. I couldn't see normally, fury clouding my eyes. I screamed every cuss word I knew.

I felt someone pulling us apart, and I looked up to see Ronnie and Andy holding me back. I had tears of fury rolling down my cheeks.

I shook away and ran out of the room, and right into the teacher, Mr. Fredickson, a man in his late 20's.

"Hey Cam! Hope you had a good summer. Welcome back to school. Let's head into class," he said with a smile. This was the third time I'd been in his class, and he knew me well.

"I can't," I said shaking my head.

"Why not?"

"Because I just beat the crap out of Amy Lee." His eyes widened and he gave a little chuckle.

"Well it looks like she got you pretty good too. What happened between you two?"

"She started freaking out at me and my friends because apparently we were sitting in her spot, and we started fighting, and she slapped me, and things just got worse from there," I said miserably. Just then, Ronnie came out of the room, looking for me.

"Hey! Are you okay?" he asked, running up to Mr. Fredrickson and me.

"Yeah. I just needed to cool off."

"Yeah, Amy's feeding everyone in class some BS about you attacking her out of nowhere. Andy and Gerard are trying to get the truth out, and Pete and Spence are helping them. Of course no one believes us…"

"When has anyone ever believed us about anything? They'd all call us liars if we told them about Patrick," I said resentfully.

"What happened to Patrick?" Mr. Fredickson asked, concerned. Ronnie and I explained what had happened, and Mr. Fredrickson listened, worry and sadness creasing his face more and more as the story went on. By the time we finished, he had tears in his eyes. "That's terrible," he said as he wiped a tear from his eyes.

"Yeah. It's been a sad couple of weeks," I said. Mr. Fredrickson looked at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"We should do something for him," he said after a moment. "Maybe we could donate all the admission money from the first concert and all the proceeds from the DVD sales of the concert to his mother."

"Yeah! We should do his favorite song, too!" Ronnie said.

"What's his favorite song?"

"It's Time by Imagine Dragons," Ronnie and I said in unison.

"I LOVE THAT SONG!" Ronnie and I looked at Mr. F like he was crazy. He laughed at our confused faces and pointed us towards class. "Come on, let's go talk to the rest of the choir about our ideas." We followed him into the room and Amy immediately launched into her sob story of how she had sweetly asked me to move over so she could sit, and I started cursing at her and then attacked her for no reason.

"I know, and she has been punished for it, rest assured," Mr. F said, subtly crossing his fingers behind his back. I loved that about him. He kept everyone happy, but didn't treat students like students. He just boldfaced lied to Amy Lee for hell's sake. He treated students as equals to himself, or coworkers, and frankly, he loved my friends and me more than any other students. "Alright, everyone sit down, and lets have a chat," he said.

Pete, Gerard, Spence, Andy, Billie, Ashley, Ronnie and I all sat down on the floor by Mr. F's feet, since Her Royal Bitchiness had taken the damned spot on the risers.

I swear, wolves or some other rabid psycho animals that were constantly on their periods raised her.

"Alright, so we need to talk. You all know Patrick Stump, correct?" My friends and me cheered, and for the most part, the class nodded while staring at the 8 of us who were giggling on the floor. "Okay, so for the most part, you all know him. Well, a few weeks ago, he was in an accident and broke his neck. He's in the hospital, and won't be getting out any time soon. I thought about this, and I realized that we should do something for him. So, I decided that we will be donating all the admission money from the year's first concert to him, as well as all the proceeds from the sale of DVD's of the concert. If you or your parents have a problem with this, either call or email me, or suck it up. This decision is final, and nothing will change my mind. Got it? Yes? Good."

My friends and I all grinned at each other as Mr. F made the announcement.

"But, but Mr. F! The money from the concert and the DVD's was supposed to be going to funding our trip to the Anaheim music festival!" Amy squealed.

"The plans for that trip fell through," Mr. F said as he connected his laptop to the projector. "Now, here is the list of the songs we will be doing for the concert. The theme is, uh…" I realized he was winging it as he opened a blank word document. He had no idea what we would be doing. "The theme is… Never Give Up." I smiled at that. It was something I could relate to.

"What songs are we doing?" Billie asked.

"Well, I know that the grand finale is going to be It's Time, by the band Imagine Dragons."

"Mr. F?" A small girl in the back of the room raised her hand. I had seen her around. She was really quiet and kept to herself. She had declined to hang out with us several times, which was sad because she would fit in. She had bright orange hair, for starters.

"Yes Hayley?"

"Can we do the song Move Along by the All American Rejects? That one works with the theme," she said with a pale pink blush coloring her deathly white face.

"Yes, I think that would work perfectly! Good job Hayley." After that, a few more people asked if we could use specific songs. By the end of class, we had a six song list, a mile long list of decoration ideas, and had decided that we would all dress as the stereotype opposite of our typical stereotype, with our normal clothes underneath. Then, at the end of the concert, we would all be backstage while the other music classes performed, and we would come back on stage as ourselves. I liked that idea, how it kind of represented shedding a fake skin and becoming a new person.

I'm a nerd for that kind of stuff.

When class got out, everyone shuffled out, desperate to go home.

As I walked to my locker alone, I saw a group of people crowded around someone. That's never good. I ran up to the crowd, pushing and shoving to get closer to see what was going on. I wished I had just walked away then and there, but I didn't.

What I saw brought back the full force fury that I had felt towards Amy in choir. My pulse started to race, my breathing became irregular and uneven, and I felt the sweat bead up at the back of my neck.

Brendon and two of the football players were beating some kid up. I craned my neck to see who the kid was. It was Jordan. I dropped all of my stuff and ran into the fight.

"GET OFF HIM!" I screamed as I decked one of the football guys. He looked shocked for a moment, but shoved me away when he recovered. I wasn't going to be shaken off that easily. I punched him in the stomach, and when he doubled over, I kneed him in the face, effectively breaking his nose and taking care of him.

I turned to the other football player, who was looking at me with a look on his face that read something like "Holy-crap-the-psycho-vampire-chick-is-about-to-beat-the-living-shit-out-of-me-and-Brendon-and-now-I'm-gonna-look-like-a-sissy-because-she's-a-really good-fighter-and-holy-shit-fist!" I punched him in the face and he just fell over.

Apparently the big, bad football player was scared of the almost rabid vampire girl.

Brendon was on top of Jordan, straddling his waist and pounding his fists into Jordan's stomach and face repeatedly.

"Brendon! Get off him!" I screamed as I shoved his shoulder, knocking him off my newfound friend. I helped Jordan up as I kicked Brendon's leg.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"He was hitting on my girlfriend. I wasn't about to let some 15 year old loser treat her like crap."

I shook my head. "You're so pathetic. I have no idea why I ever went out with you, or why I was ever friends with you." I pulled Jordan out of the crowd as the group dispersed.

"Well, that's a new record. I got beat on the first day this year," Jordan gave a hollow chuckle. "Thanks for helping me Cam."

"No problem," I said, smiling. "I'm used to being the one who gets rescued, so I wanted to help someone else for a change." We got to our lockers and grabbed our stuff. "Do you and Des want a ride home?"

"Lemme ask." Jordan led me to Destery's locker, which was surprisingly close to the parking lot. "Yo, Captain DesDes!" Jordan said when we made it. "Cam offered us a ride home. Yay or nay?"

"Yay. Ronnie asked the same in auto. Let's go." The three of us walked to the parking lot, where all our friends were hanging out around Pete and Ronnie's cars, blasting music and dancing. Jake pulled me towards the group once I'd put my stuff down, and I danced with him for a song. We all sat in the parking lot for a half hour, just dancing, talking and being idiots. Once the parking lot had cleared out some, we all got in the cars and drove off. Pete and Billie's cars went straight to the hospital, and Ronnie's car went to drop Destery and Jordan off at their house.

They lived in a nicer neighborhood than the rest of us. We dropped the brothers off at a Tudor style house with a green and freshly cut lawn, flower beds full of petunias and two rose bushes, and a cheery little welcome sign on the front door. They had a lawn gnome sitting on the steps for hell's sake. I have no idea how Jordan and Destery had gotten away with piercing their noses, shaving half their hair off, or being the way they were. They only reason Ronnie, Jake and Ashley got away with dressing and acting the way they did was because their parents didn't care about them. Gerard and Mikey's parents loved them a lot, and they were both in between jobs. They were struggling, but they really loved their sons. Andy's parents loved him a lot too. His dad was the head honcho at the local newspaper, and his mom was a stay at home mom. Billie, Patrick, Pete and I's parents were never around, and Spence, Frank, and Ray's parents were dead. Their parents all died in a plane crash when the six parents (who were like parents to all of us) decided to go to South America and volunteer and help kids and orphans. Spence and Ray lived with their grandparents, and Frank lived with Jake.

We were a messed up bunch with crappy home lives. I wasn't sure if Destery and Jordan were going to last long with us.

Ronnie pulled out of the driveway, and drove me, Frank, Jake and Ashley towards the hospital.

It was weird that out of 13 high school seniors, 5 of us could drive and only 3 had cars. Billie, Pete and Ronnie drove us everywhere. When one of them couldn't drive, either Frank or Jake borrowed one of the cars and drove people around. The rest of us failed drivers ed and still didn't have our licenses. Andy and I were the closest to getting them though. We just had to drive for 40 hours and then we could drive.

We pulled into the hospital while I was still lost in thought about driving. I picked up my backpack when Ashley punched my arm to get my attention. We all walked into the hospital and went to Patrick's room, to find the other 8 sitting around in the hallway, playing on their phones, sleeping or quietly talking.

"What's going on guys?" Ronnie asked as we sat down against the wall, next to Mikey and Ray.

"They're doing therapy and checkups. We have to wait out here until they finish," Spence said. So, we all sat around and waited until they would let us in.


	8. I'm In Love With My Own Sins

**TITLE: AMERICA'S SUITEHEARTS BY FALL OUT BOY**

**LET'S HEAR IT FOR AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS, BUT I MUST CONFESS, I'M IN LOVE WITH MY OWN SINS, LET'S HEAR IT FOR AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS, BUT I MUST CONFESS, I'M IN LOVE WITH MY OWN SINS**

When the door to Patrick's room opened, we all rushed in, eager to tell our friend about the first day of school. Mr. F had suggested we surprise Patrick with the money, so had all decided to keep that part of the day a secret. We did tell him about everything else, however, including how I kicked two football players asses and saved Jordan from Brendon.

I hadn't told any of the guys about that, so they all heard about it at the same time as Patrick. They all looked shocked and impressed.

"What can I say? You all taught me how to fight," I shrugged.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA. You fought two football players and Brendon? Where the hell were we? Oh yeah, partying in the parking lot," Frank said, and we all laughed.

"Yeah, seriously. But that could have ended up like what happened with Amy," Billie said.

"I was fine you guys!" I said as Patrick started blinking, and Ray scrawled down the letters on a notepad.

"I'm sure u wer. B desrvd it," Ray read. We didn't expect Patrick to spell out every word perfectly. It took a lot out of him even to do something like that.

"Thank you! Why can't the rest of you be like him?" I laughed and Jake, who was closest to me, gave me a hug and then punched my arm.

"OH MY HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING EXTREMELY COOL!" Andy squealed.

"What now Andy?" Pete asked, skeptical of how 'cool' this would be.

"The season finale of America's Got Talent is on tonight!" Pete and a couple others rolled their eyes.

"You squealed like a 17 year old girl over THAT?" Gerard asked.

"HEY!" I said, eliciting giggles from Gerard, and then the other guys joined in, and we were all giggling, and Patrick smiled. Andy commandeered the remote control from Spence and changed the channel on the TV. We watched the show, and by the time it was over, Andy was fuming over who had won and who had lost.

"HE SHOULD NOT HAVE WON! Those dancers should have won!"

"Andy, you only liked the dancers because they were wearing tight ass shorts and sports bras." Ray said.

"Just because you're gay and dating Mikey doesn't mean I can't be straight Ray!"

"WHAT?!" The rest of us asked, Mikey and Ray blushing, Andy asking, and the rest of us catching flies. Gerard looked like he was going to be sick, and all of a sudden, Ashley and Pete started laughing.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!" Pete said, laughing and snorting.

"YOU OWE US SO MUCH MONEY SPENCER THAT IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!" Ashley said.

"Damn." Spencer's reaction made Ashley and Pete laugh harder.

"Wait just a minute here! Two things: first off, WHAT THE HELL WHY ARE YOU DATING MY BROTHER WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME RAY YOU LITTLE BITCH, and second off, what the hell are you three talking about?"

"Well I can tell you what the bet was. Pete and I bet Spence that Ray and Mikey would be together by the end of the year back on New Years', and Spencer didn't think so. Now, he owes us both 200 bucks," Ashley said, high fiving Pete with a loud slapping sound.

"Now, I seriously want to know the rest of the story. RAYMOND MANUEL TORO-ORTIZ! You're dating my brother? WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT." Gerard said.

"Andy, I'm going to murder you in your sleep," Ray said from behind his hands, where he was hiding his face and shaking his hands. Mikey was sitting next to him on the window seat, rubbing small circles into his back. "Okay, here goes nothing… So, on my birthday, Mikey asked me what I wanted. And without thinking, I said 'you know what Mikey? I want you,' and he stared at me for a minute, and I almost died. I thought he hated me, so I got up and left. I was sitting in my room bawling like a bitch an hour or so afterwards, when all of a sudden I hear this tapping on my window. I went over to see what it was, and Mikey was knocking on the window. I opened it and he climbed in, and I was like, 'what are you doing?' and he said, 'giving you your birthday present,' and he kissed me. And I was like, 'what was that for?' and Mikey said, 'well, you said you wanted me for your birthday, so I'm not going to not give you what you want,' and I asked him out, and he said yes. And of course, Andy found out because he was using my phone and Mikey texted me some gooey love note, and Andy freaked out and asked me about it. I swore him to secrecy under penalty of being killed and/or losing his manhood, and he swore, but looks like he broke the promise."

"OH MY HOLY CRAP FOR THE LOVE OF DAHVIE VANITY THAT'S FREAKING ADORABLE!" I squealed, and everyone looked at me this time.

"Since when did you find things concerning one of us guys 'adorable'?" Mikey asked.

"Hey! I'm a chick! I can't help it, stuff like that brings out the girly part of me." I shrugged and the guys snorted.

"Well still!" Gerard said, turning back to Mikey and Ray. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Because… We figured you'd freak out and kill me or worse, make us break up," Ray said, shrinking away from Gerard. Mikey grabbed his hand and gave it a quick squeeze, and I couldn't help but squeal and let out a little "AW!" Everyone looked at me again.

"Guys! This isn't about me; this is about Ray and Mikey and how fricking cute they are together. By the way, I COMPLETELY approve of this match up, guys."

"Why would I kill you or make you break up? I don't give a shit as long as you don't hurt the little Moikay. Frick, Frank and I went out for a while. To be honest we still are."

"WHAT THE HELL! WHY IS NO ONE TELLING ME ABOUT ALL THESE FREAKING ADORABLE COUPLES?! What's next, Ashley and Andy, or Spence and Pete? Just come out already, you guys!"

"Okay, I am NOT dating Andy," Ashley said. "I'm as straight as they come, okay? I've never even looked at a dick. I'm a boobs man, all the way."

"Same here," Pete said.

"Me three," Spence added.

"What about you Andy?" We all turned and looked at the only one who hadn't denied my accusations of being gay.

"Huh? I was trying to think of places where I could hide from Ray."

"We think you're gay too." Jake said.

"Oh hell to the no!"

Everyone laughed. Spence noticed Patrick blinking, and scribbled down the words.

"Patrick wants to know since when have Frank and Gerard been dating. Spence wants to know if either couple has gotten lucky yet." I laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, seriously. Cam wants to know too." The four gay guys blushed, and we all knew the answer. No one pressed for the details of that, however.

"Uh, well, Frank and I have been together since… about a year ago." Gerard said.

"OH MY HOLY FREAKING NARWHAL BOOBS! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU STUPID ASS HOLES!"

"Uhm…" The words I expressed myself with when I was irritated became very strange and colorful when I was at an extreme. The guys knew that, but they still were caught off guard by it.

"SERIOUSLY! I'm a girl, if I don't know about these things AS THEY HAPPEN, I might die, or my head will explode!"

"Okay Cam. From now on every time I get a boyfriend I'll tell you," Gerard said with heavy sarcasm.

"Thank you Captain Sarcasm." Elisabeth the nurse walked in just then.

"Alright guys, it's time. Get your butts out of here. Who's staying tonight?"

"I am and Cam is," Ronnie said.

"E, GUESS WHAT? GERARD AND FRANK ARE DATING AND MIKEY AND RAY ARE DATING!" I squealed. Elisabeth looked at the four of them.

"Really? You guys are so adorable together. I could tell pretty much from the first few days I met you all."

"Really?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah, have none of you seen the way Mikey looks at Ray, how they Frank is constantly moving closer to Gerard, the way Ray is always talking to Mikey, and how Gerard always laughs at Frank's horrible jokes?"

We all thought for a moment, and realized everything E said was true.

"Whoa… How did we not notice that?" Spencer said. E laughed as everyone gathered up their stuff.

"Well, you can all think about it at your OWN homes. Go. Don't you all have school in the morning or something?"

"Yeah. We're going, E, we're going." Andy said. Everyone left, leaving Ronnie, Patrick, E and I alone.

"Kay, well now you two need to go find something else to do, because we have to do all of the typical check up stuff, and it's gonna take a while."

"Okay. We'll be back later, I guess," I said. Ronnie and I left and we got in his car to go get some dinner.

"So what do you want?"

"Honestly Ronnie, I don't give a shit. I'm so hungry that I could eat pretty much anything."

"Del Taco sound okay then?" I nodded and we drove through the drive through, got some tacos and drove back to the hospital.

"Let's go up to the roof," I suggested. We made our way up there, talking about school and teachers.

"Yeah, someone needs to pull the stick out of Mrs. Amane's butt."

"SERIOUSLY! She's such a hardass." I agreed as Ronnie and I sat down on the grass. Looking back, I probably would have never done what I did next if I hadn't been so insane on my 80 mils of Celexa. But I was, because I really couldn't go on with out it. I lay down on my back in the grass next to Ronnie.

"Ronnie?"

"Yeah?" he answered as he lay down next to me, intertwining our fingers as he did.

"Do you love me?"

"Yeah. What's up?"

"What if I told you I was pregnant?" I said, looking into his eyes.

"WHAT?!" He sat up in alarm.

"I'm not pregnant, I'm just curious. We haven't even done it, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Well it depends I guess." He said, lying back down.

"What if I said that I was depressed?"

"Then I'd do everything I could to help you not be depressed." He squeezed my hand a little and gave me one of those blinding smiles of his.

"What if I told you I was addicted to antidepressants and took, I don't know, let's say four times as much as I should?"

"Then I'd do everything I could to keep you from becoming more addicted, and I'd try to help you get off them."

I stood up walking to the edge of the roof and leaning backwards against it, using my hands to keep me from falling off. Ronnie sat up, looking fairly confused y the conversation.

"What if I told you that the last two things I told you were true?"

Ronnie gasped a little, concern and shock clouding his normally grinning face.

"What?"

"Ronnie, I've had depression since I was like, 12."

"Why didn't you ever tell us?" He said, walking towards me. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Because I didn't want you to worry. Do you remember the time that I went on vacation when I was 15, and I told you guys I went to Florida as a last minute thing for spring break, but I didn't bring anything home for you? Well, I was actually in the psych ward. They put me on suicide watch after my mom found me in my room about to drink a bottle of Windex and with an empty pill bottle at my feet. I wanted to kill myself. I had to get my stomach pumped and then I got put on suicide watch. " I started to cry at the memories.

"Cam, I don't… I don't know what to say. I wish I had known. I wish none of this had happened. I do have one question though- why did you try to do it?" I stayed quiet, pressing myself into Ronnie, hiding my face in his chest. "Why?"

"Ronnie, I did it because… because of a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Amy and her never ending torment. The fact that I felt unloved and thought you guys only talked to me because you felt bad for me. My dad abusing me, verbally and physically. And the fact that depression makes you irrational, and in my case, paranoid and anxious. It's impossible to think normally. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt truly happy."

I cried into Ronnie's shirt for a few minutes, from relief at least one of the guys knew, and from terror that everything was going to change. I knew they wouldn't let me keep taking my pills.

"Camren Faye Young. You know that we all love you. You also know that we would never lie to you, and that we could never hurt you."

"I know, it's just hard to remember when you have a mental disorder."

"And I promise to help you change that."

And I knew then, I wasn't ever going to take my pills again.


	9. I Will Never Let You Fall

**TITLE: YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL BY THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS**

**I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL, I'LL STAND UP WITH YOU FOREVER, I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU THROUGH IT ALL, EVEN IF SAVING YOU SENDS ME TO HEAVEN**

Ronnie and I walked into the hospital room a few minutes after my confession. Needless to say, Ronnie had fully decided that the rest of our friends would be finding about my little secret at school tomorrow, and Patrick be finding out now.

As we walked down the hallway, smelling the sanitarily stale hospital air. I didn't want to be telling Patrick about my depression right now; I didn't want to tell anyone as a matter of fact. Ronnie squeezed my slightly sweaty hand before letting go and walking into Patrick's room.

"Hey kids!" Patti greeted us. Patrick was missing from the room; I could only assume they were running some sort of test or something in another area.

"Hey Mrs. Patrick's-mom-who-is-like-a-mom-to-me!" Ronnie greeted, giving the middle aged woman a hug.

"Hi Patti. I thought you had to work nights?" I asked, giving her a hug.

"Well, my boss, Mr. Reynolds, told me that I could take a paid LOA until Patrick is out of the hospital," she said beaming.

"That's great!" I said, genuinely happy for Patti. She really was the mother figure in our lives, ahead of most of our own mothers. We loved her and treated her like our mom, and she in turn, treated us like her kids.

"Well, you guys won't have to spend the night here anymore, so you'll be able to get real sleep and all that jazz," she laughed. "Speaking of which, you two look like hell." I sighed and looked away, running my hand through my dark brown curls. "Alright, tell me what's going on. I know there's something up. Now you have to tell me."

"Well… Cam told me something up on the roof a few minutes ago." Ronnie said. I felt the tears already coming back. I knew how disappointed Patti would be in me for this. I hated to disappoint the people I love. I looked at my beat up Chucks, avoiding eye contact with anyone as a little droplet of wet fell from my eye and hit the light colored wood floor. "She told me that since she was 12 or so, that she's had some problems with depression. Apparently, not a single person knew until she tried to kill herself when she was 15. As if that's not enough… she's taking four times the amount of antidepressant she's been prescribed, and she's basically addicted to them." I heard a small, choked gasp come from Patti's mouth. That's when I lost it. I turned and walked from the room, not caring where I was going. I walked out to the parking lot, knowing Ronnie was right behind me. My vision clouded over with tears, and I, being both a complete klutz and half blinded by the wet drips spilling through my eyelids, walked off a curb without seeing it, causing me to stumble and fall head first into a hedgerow.

I cried harder at my fall, just giving up.

"Hey," Ronnie said quietly, picking me up 'bridal style' out of the hedge. I twined my arms around his neck, pressing my face into his shoulder, still crying. "What just happened?"  
"I disappointed her, Ronnie. I disappointed Patti. How could I face her after you dropped my little bombshell on her?" I cried harder, and Ronnie sat down on the steps of the hospital, white light bathing us from the fluorescents above the door. Ronnie let me cry into his shirt, rubbing gentle circles into my back as I sat in his lap.

"Ronnie, I'm such an asshole, I kept this from all of you for all these years, and now I just, I can't keep doing this alone, but I don't want anyone to know, I just, I, god, I just wish I was dead, because if I wasn't alive, that ass hole would have never hurt Patrick, and we wouldn't be sitting outside this god damn hospital while Patrick is laying somewhere inside 95% dead! Dammit! This is all my fault, everything, it's all my fault, I can't believe that I did that to him, I killed my own best friend…" I trailed off and drew several gasping and shaky breaths.

"Camren Faye. Don't you ever let me EVER hear you say that bullshit ever again. I'm serious." Ronnie pulled me away from his chest, forcing me to look into his eyes. "That's a total load of bullshit and you know it. I can't believe you would ever even think that any of that total BS was true, ever for a god damned second."

"What?"

"You're not an ass hole, it's not your fault that Trick got hurt, and you sure as shit don't deserve to be dead, you got that?!" Ronnie looked frighteningly angry. He was holding my arms, squeezing tightly and shaking me like a rag doll. I struggled lightly against his grasp, and he became shocked at what he was doing. He let go of my arms and gently wrapped me in a hug. "I'm sorry I got so angry, it's just that… I just hate seeing you so upset, Cam. You're all I have left now. I don't have any real family. I have you, the guys and Patti. Yeah, my dad's alive, but he treats me like shit and first chance I get, I'm hauling ass out of there." I looked at my boyfriend, who had a single tear running down his cheek.

I hadn't thought that to be possible. Ronnie Radke just didn't cry. But here we were, sitting on the steps of a hospital, crying in each other's arms. Ronnie put up with a lot of shit, and wasn't the emotional, touchy-feely one of the group. He was the strong one who had a bit of a temper that flared up when people he loved were getting hurt. I wiped the tear from Ronnie's cheek and placed a kiss on his lips. A simple, gentle, chaste kiss. Neither one of us opened our mouths to let the other's tongue dance with our own. It was just a simple kiss, lips moving, nothing more.

When I pulled away, I rested my head on Ronnie's shoulder, pressing my face into his neck. He was warm, and I realized just how chilly the night was. I shivered and Ronnie gave a small laugh. "Come on. I know somewhere where we can be alone." He said. He picked me up and carried me to the car, and I felt like such a child, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. He set me gently in the car, kissing my hand before shutting the door. I blushed a little as he went around to the driver's side. He held my hand the entire ride to wherever it was we were going. When he parked, we both got out and he grabbed a blanket from the back and led me to a gentle rolling hill that overlooked our town. He spread the blanket out on the grass and we lay down. I was still kind of cold, so I snuggled up next to him, and he wrapped his arms around me. I was grateful he was wearing a hoodie because it just made his warm embrace seem so much more inviting.

We talked for a good 4 hours, which meant it was something like 2 when we both started to fall asleep.

"Ronnie?" he responded with something that resembled 'hmm'. "Do you have another blanket?" He nodded after he laughed a little. He ran back to the car, grabbing a second blanket. "Thank you, love."

"You're welcome." I kissed his cheek and fell asleep next to him, his arms around me and the stars above us, overlooking the dismal world we lived in.

We woke up the next morning at around 9, and we realized we had missed the first few minutes of school. Ronnie drove me home, and I quickly changed. I popped 4 Celexa in my mouth, figuring what Ronnie didn't know wouldn't hurt him. I ran back to the car, grateful my mother wasn't home to lecture me. Ronnie stopped off at his house and changed, plus threw a few more clothes in a bag to take with him, in case his dad kicks him out. Again. I felt so bad for Ronnie when he told me about his dad. I wish he could come live with me, but my mother would murder me if I let a boy move in with me, especially with her being gone for so long as she often was. Well, I would be turning 18 in 3 weeks… My birthday was October 1st. If I was 18, and since Ronnie's 18… Oh my gosh. We could move in together. We both had lots money in the bank from basically every summer job and lemonade stand, car wash, birthday or yard sale we had ever had, and then some from both interest and other money being put in. We couldn't touch that money until we were 18. But now…

"Ronnie. I just had an amazing idea."

"What is it?"

"What if, and this is just a thought, we rented an apartment together? What if we moved in together? We both have more than enough money. We could do it. Both of us could get away from our crazy families, we could be together, and no one would bother us…"

"Cam, you know that I want nothing more than to be all alone with you with no one to bother us, but how could we afford all that?"

"We could both get jobs. And if we had to, we could just drop out and get our GED's. Ronnie… please?" I pleaded. I wanted to live with my boyfriend, more than I should, most likely. But honestly, I had never felt this way about anyone. Not even Brendon. Ronnie was everything I had ever wanted. If we were 18, we could get married too… Good lord, I was planning out our entire future here. Calm, Cam. Be calm.

"Cam… we'd need help. We can't afford it right now." I moped and slumped in my seat, crossing my arms. "You're so hot when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Mope. Your bottom lips pokes out a little bit, and your face just becomes sexier, if that were even possible."

"Oh, you think I'm sexy?" I said sultrily as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Yes, I do," Ronnie said as a matter of fact. I unbuckled my seatbelt as we parked, leaning over to whisper in Ronnie's ear.

"Well, maybe if we had our own apartment you could find out just how sexy I am," I said, slightly licking Ronnie's earlobe. I ran my hand up his thigh, letting my fingers lightly graze the denim.

"Damn. You're such a tease."

"Maybe." I sucked lightly on his earlobe. He gasped a little, and I knew we had to go before it went any farther and we both lost control.

"You're a bitch, you know that? Now you left me here hanging, and I'm stuck with this problem," he said, obviously referring to the bulge in his jeans.

"Well, if we had our own apartment we could go home and I could fix your problem. But we don't. So, too bad." I said, smiling at him and getting out of the car, shaking my ass a bit as I got out. I grabbed my backpack, leaning over more than necessary in my low cut shirt.

I wanted to share an apartment with him, okay? I'd do anything to get him to see the point that having our own apartment was a great idea. I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not a sex addict. To be brutally honest, I was a virgin. But I sure as hell wasn't about to admit that.

"Come on. Let's go to class," I said slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"But, but I- GRR. You better pray this is gone by the time we get to class." I laughed at his sexual frustration as we walked hand in hand into the school building.


	10. Unholy Confessions

**TITLE: UNHOLY CONFESSIONS BY AVENGED SEVENFOLD**

We checked in at the attendance office and walked to Amane's class. There were five minutes of 1st class left, so we didn't see the point in going. We had made it just as Ronnie's problem was gone and the bell rang, signaling the end of class. We walked into math hand in hand and smiling. We sat down in our desks, and we pulled out our things. Slowly the class filed in, and Destery greeted me.

"Hey Cam!"

"Hey Des!" I said as he sat down in his desk.

"So… How are you today?"

"I am freaking tired. Between you and me… I slept on a blanket on the hill outside town with Ronnie last night," I grinned, and Destery beamed.

"Are you serious?! That's freaking AH-DOR-AH-BULL!" Destery said.

"Thanks. It was his idea. I had a breakdown last night and he took me to the hill. It was pretty nice."

"I'm so jealous…" I raised an eyebrow.

"Destery… Are you gay?" I smirked and Destery gave me a 'Bitch, Please' kind of look.

"Oh hell to the no. But I haven't had a really good relationship before."

"Aw, sad. Do you like anybody?" NO CAM! BAD CAM! NO MATCHMAKER!

"Uh, yeah, actually." YESSS! MY TIME TO SHINE!

"Who?" I rested my head in my palms, elbows on my desk. I grinned at Destery.

"Uh, you know Hayley Williams? She's kind of short, has bright orange hair?" I did indeed know her, and I told Destery so. "Well, I met her when I first moved in, and I thought she was pretty cute." Destery grinned, showing off his braces, which were pretty endearing on him. "She lives down the street from me and we've hung out a couple of times."

"AWW!" I squealed. Mrs. Amane walked in and started class before we could say any more.

About halfway through class, Destery handed me a small piece of paper. _SHOULD I ASK HAYLEY OUT? YES NO _I circled the yes and handed it back to Destery. I watched his reaction out of the corner of my eye. He grinned and scrawled something down.

At the end of class, Destery handed me the note before walking out of class. I walked to my locker and was reading it when Ronnie came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his hands just below my belly button.

"I really hope she says yes! Wish me luck, I have my next class with her;) xoxo Destery." Ronnie rested his chin on my shoulder when he finished reading the note out loud. "Who is Destery asking out?"

I kissed Ronnie's cheek and put my hands over his. "Hayley Williams."

"Hmm. Good for him. Come on, we'll be late for class." Ronnie released me and we walked down the hall to our classes.

The rest of the week passed by uneventfully, going to school, visiting Patrick afterwards, and then going home to sleep. Destery coming and going to spend time with his new girlfriend occasionally changed the routine up, but other than that, things were normal.

Friday night, Ronnie, Billie, Spence, Ashley and I were sitting in my basement, decorating my walls and listening to music.

"Can we please go do something OTHER than drawing and writing random shit on your walls Cam?"

"Well what do you suggest we do Billie?"

"Hmm… Truth or Dare!" Billie squealed and sat down on the floor, closely followed by an equally enthusiastic Ashley. "Come on!"

"What are we, second graders?" Ronnie groaned as he sat down, pulling me down with him. Spencer stood nervously, fidgeting and trying to decide whether or not to join.

"Come, Spencer… Join us, Spencer," Ashley said as creepily as possible. Spencer sat down, but not before glaring warily at Ashley. "Well, who wants to go first?"

"OOH! OOH! ME! ME! ME! PICK ME, ME, PICK ME!" Billie squealed, and Ashley nodded for him to go. "Okay, um, Cam!" I knew I was in trouble no matter what I picked. "Truth, or dare?"

I thought for a moment, weighing my options. "Um… truth."

"Are you still a virgin?" Note to self: Murder Billie in his sleep for that.

"Oh my gosh. Are you freaking serious? That's a stupid ass question."

"You have to answer. And if you don't, you'll have to take the dare," Ashley interjected.

"Fine. But you all know about what happened with Patrick the night I broke up with Brendon… So uh, I guess I'm not." I blushed and looked down, expecting everyone else to laugh.

"Well, I guess that means the Ash here is the only other one with any experience," Billie said. I looked up in shock. No way that these guys were still virgins.

"Seriously?! Even you?" I looked at Ronnie and he nodded sheepishly. Well, it made me a little less embarrassed to know that my boyfriend hadn't had his first either. It was my turn to choose.

"Um… Spencer! Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Spence said confidently. He wouldn't be so confident in a moment.

"I dare you to go outside and pronounce your absolute, undying love for the first person you see."

"Shit." We all laughed. Spencer was a typically quiet guy, so this should be good. He walked upstairs and we all scrambled after him, ready to watch from the porch. We all made ourselves comfy as Spencer mentally prepped himself for the dare.

A young couple came up the path and we saw Spencer pale at the sight of them. He quickly ran up to me.

"Does it have to the FIRST person I saw?" I nodded and he took a deep breath, shook his head and walked to the couple.

"OH MY GOSH! I'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU!" Spencer ran up to the male half of the couple and gave him a huge hug. We busted out laughing that he was about to proclaim his love for a married dude. "After all these years, I've finally found you! I love you, so so much. You're so wonderful; I don't know how I lived my life without you! Please, say that you'll stay with me! I love you! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I'VE EVER LOVED ANYTHING OR ANYONE! You're the most perfect human being I've ever laid my eyes upon! Please, say that you love me too!" The brunette girl looked (oddly enough) like she was genuinely happy, and the brown mop topped guy just looked confused, (and again, oddly enough) pleased. Spencer still hadn't released him from the hug, and Spencer was showing no signs of letting go. "Please, say it! Say that you love me and this madness can end and we will be together!"

"I love you too! Now, if you give me your number, I'll call you later and we can set up a date." Spencer wrenched himself away from the guy, who already had his phone out and was typing something in.

"See Britt? Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't find a good relationship!"

"Good job bro!" The girl hugged her brother and the siblings smiled. By this point, we couldn't breathe we were laughing so hard. Spencer looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Um, this was just a dare… I'm not actually gay," he said to the guy when he handed Spencer his phone.

"What?" the guy asked in disbelief. He looked extremely sad. "Okay, I guess. Come on Brittany, let's go home."

Brittany slapped Spencer. "You're an ass hole, leading my brother on like that." She turned and ran after her brother. "Harry! Harry! Wait up!"

Spencer came back to us, clutching his cheek. "Ow. I wish she hadn't done that. Cause damn. Ow." We just laughed at him as we all went back down to my room. Once we got the giggles under control, we continued the game.

"Ronald Joseph! Truth or dare?" Spencer asked.

"Truth."

"Kay, well, who was your last girlfriend?" My heart stopped for a moment.

"Um, I have a girlfriend right now, actually." Everyone ooed and pressed for the girl's name. "It's Cam."

"WHAT?!" Everyone's jaws dropped and hit the floor.

"Yeah. Me and Cam are dating." Ronnie wrapped his arm around my shoulders protectively, and oddly enough, the guys started… laughing?

"No way! Dude, you're joking, Now come on, be serious," Ashley said. Ronnie looked at him, irritated.

"We seriously are dating!"

"Nuh, uh! There is no way you guys are dating," Spencer said. I looked at the three laughing guys.

"Well for your information, we are actually. We are dating, and we talked about moving in together." That shut them up.

"Really?! Why haven't you guys said anything?" Billie asked.

"Because. We don't have to tell you every bit of our personal lives."

"Yeah, seriously. But I guess the cat's out of the bag now," I sulked.

"Can we please call the other guys?" Spencer begged.

"No. We'll tell them tomorrow," Ronnie said. Then he pulled me closer and whispered something in my ear. "And we're telling them about the pills."

"NO!" I yanked away from my boyfriend. "We are NOT telling them that!"

"They have a right to know!" Ronnie yelled back.

"We have a right to know what?" Billie asked, cocking his head to the side.

"NOTHING!" Ronnie and I screamed at both of them.

"Okay, okay, forget I asked," Billie said, putting his hands up in a surrendering style.

Ronnie and I stared each other down in an awkward silence until Spence cleared his throat. "Let's just go to the mall. Obviously Truth Or Dare isn't a good idea anymore." We all murmured our agreement and piled into Ronnie's car.

Ronnie drove, I sat in shotgun, and Billie, Ashley and Spence sat in the back. I turned on the stereo and we all danced along to We The Kings. None of the other guys liked them (except Mikey [but he wasn't there]), but I begged and they gave in. We listened to a couple songs but Billie threatened us with death if we listened to Check Yes Juliet. Apparently, he hated that song with a fiery passion.

We got to the mall and made our way inside. I realized that we were indeed losers. Friday night and the only thing we had to do was come to the mall. We bought Jamba as I mulled the thought over, but Ashley said the magic words and all was forgotten.

"Let's go to Hot Topic!" We all followed our friend to our favorite store and split off into different sections. I found myself by the piercings, and admired them for a while, contemplating how I would look with one.

"Want one?" Ronnie asked, coming up behind me. I jolted out of my thoughts as Ronnie wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Yeah, but I can't. My mom would kill me."

"No she won't. And I'm deciding that you're getting one. What do you want?" Ronnie said, releasing me from his grasp to go tell the guy behind the counter.

"I have no idea. You choose." I shrugged.

"Okay… I'll be back." Ronnie walked to the guy behind the counter. His nametag read 'Christian', and he looked like a pretty nice guy. His haircut was a bit similar to Ashley's.

I continued to look around at all the different studs, rings, stretchers and tapers that were surrounding me, except now I was wondering what I would be getting put into my body in a few moments.

Ronnie came back with the rest of the guys a few minutes later, all of them grinning like mad men.

"Ready?" Billie asked me.

"Not really, but I'm gonna do it anyway."

"Good. You're getting a-"

"SHUT UP ASHLEY! YOU CAN'T TELL HER!" Ronnie interrupted.

"AW! Fine." Ashley huffed and stuck his bottom lip out.

Christian walked over just then. "Alright. Are you Cam?" he asked. I nodded weakly. "Alright. I'm doing 4 piercings today. One in the top of your ear, two in your bottom lip and one in the middle area of your nose." My face paled.

"Oh. Uh, okay…" I said shakily.

"We're going to start with your nose, because that's the one that hurts the most. And to be brutally honest, it hurts like a bitch." I whimpered pitifully, causing Ashley and Billie actually laugh. I shot them daggers and nodded for Christian to go ahead. He pulled rubber gloves on, and motioned to the wall of body jewelry. "Pick one," he said, motioning to the ones I could get in my nose. I picked a purple captive bead ring, and he loaded the gun up.

20 minutes later, the 5 of us walked out of the mall, Ronnie carrying the newly pierced me. I had passed out by the time that Christian had finished. I woke up in the middle of the backseat., with Ronnie and Spence on either side of me. Billie was driving Ronnie's car, and Ashley was in shotgun.

"Hey! Look at you! You're alive!" Spencer said.

"What do you mean 'I'm alive'?"

"Cam. You passed out in the middle of him piercing your bottom lip. We just quickly finished, paid the guy, and Prince Charming here carried his Sleeping Beauty out." Ashley laughed from the passenger seat. I said nothing; just running tongue across the back of the sky blue rings in my bottom lip. I had snakebites, a septum piercing, and the cartilage of my right ear was pierced.

"You look good! The piercings really suit you," Ronnie said. I smiled at his compliment.

"Thanks baby," I smiled. I leaned over and kissed him.

"Hmm," he said into the kiss. "I might really like kissing you with lip rings."

I pulled away and smirked. "Like you didn't like kissing me before." Ronnie laughed as we dropped Spence off.

"BYE! SEE YOU TOMORROW!" Ashley screamed.

"Wait, what're we doing tomorrow?" I asked.

"Well duh! I can't believe you forgot! It's Mikey's birthday!" Billie said with a laugh.

"SHIT! I COMPLETELY SPACED IT! TAKE ME BACK TO THE MALL!"


	11. Your Forever Is All That I Need

**TITLE: IF I'M JAMES DEAN, THEN YOU'RE AUDREY HEPBURN BY SLEEPING WITH SIRENS**

**THEY SAY THAT LOVE IS FOREVER, YOUR FOREVER IS ALL THAT I NEED, PLEASE STAY AS LONG AS YOU NEED, CAN'T PROMISE THAT THINGS WON'T BE BROKEN, BUT I SWEAR THAT I WILL NEVER LEAVE, PLEASE STAY FOREVER WITH ME**

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEEEAAAAARRR MIIIIIIKEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY! HAAAAPPYYYYYYY BIIIIIITHDAAAAAAYYYYY TOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!"

"Thanks guys," Mikey blushed and blew out the candles. Ray gave him a huge hug.

"Happy birthday baby!"

"Thanks," Mikey mumbled, blushing, but a tell tale grin was spreading across his face. I was happy for the two of them. They were really into each other. Ray was one of the only people who could get Mikey to a) talk, b) smile, and c) actually do stuff instead of sitting on the sidelines. Mikey and Ray were a good match.

After we had all eaten some of the cake, Gerard spoke up.

"All right, who's ready to go scare the shit out of themselves on the waterslides!?"

Oh yeah, didn't I tell you? We were at a big water park for Mikey's birthday.

"HELL YES!" Pete squealed. He grabbed Billie's arm and the two of them ran off in the general direction of a slide called "Lightning Gorge", closely followed by Andy, Jake and Ray. It was a huge yellow slide that looked more like a rollercoaster than a waterslide. It started about 150 feet in the air. Then, you got on a blue sled thing and held onto some handholds, prepping yourself to go headfirst down this monstrosity. You pushed your self off and went down a hill that reached back down to the ground, and then the momentum pushed you up over another HUGE hill, and once you came down that, you shot like a bullet to the end of the pool. It was possibly the scariest thing I had ever seen.

"You can go if you want," I said to Ronnie, who was eyeing the slide.

"Um, hell no. I like being alive, thank you very much. You can't have a sexy girlfriend like you when you're dead." "WAIT, WHAT?!" Mikey squealed. Shit. Damn you Ronnie and your adorable compliments! "SINCE WHEN IS CAM YOUR 'SEXY' GIRLFRIEND?!"

"Uh… We've been going out for like, a month." Ronnie said, fixing his hair awkwardly, but still grinning.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!" Gerard said.

"Because… And… yeah."

"Oh, yes, Radke, that's a valid reason to not tell us." Frank said, rolling his eyes. Ronnie wrapped a protective arm around my waist, sending shivers through me at how warm his skin was. I ignored what they were saying, scared that it would be bad. Instead, I focused on what everyone was wearing.

I was wearing a bikini. It was really cute. It had a silver bandeau halter-top, and the bottom was silver and tied on the sides. It was my favorite. I also had on a pair of oversized black sunglasses. My hair was in a side fishtail braid, and I had a pair of purple flip flops. Ronnie was wearing a pair of black and purple swim trunks, where the purple was bright on bottom and bled up into black at the top, kind of an ombre style. And damn, he looked good standing next to me. Our outfits just worked. I know, it sounds weird. But no matter what we wore, we managed to look good together. It happened before we dated too. We just had such similar styles that it looked like we had done it on purpose.

Gerard was wearing a pair of yellow and blue trunks, and Mikey was wearing a pair of lime green and black. Frank was wearing a body glove type shirt that had blue short sleeves and a black torso, and had a pair of the bluest shorts I'd ever seen. He looked like a Smurf. His dark brown hair was shoulder length currently, and he had made a habit of tucking it behind his ears. It was a really attractive style on him. Don't ask me why; it just was. Ashley had worn black and white plaid, and he wore them fairly low on his body. Not so low his ass was hanging out, but low enough that if he did wear them any lower… you get the idea. You could see his OUTLAW tattoo, the one that ran across his abs in an arc. I didn't like Ashley, but totally understood why other girls fell for him. He was a really good looking guy. Last but not least, Spencer was wearing a pair of the gaudiest floral print trunks I had ever seen. They had huge white hibiscus flowers on a black base/background, and they were horrible. I loved them. Billie had been wearing black trunks with flames on them, and Andy was wearing black ones with studs on them. Jake's were dark red, and Ray's were pink. Pete had plain black.

"Cam? Whoo hoo! Camren!" I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of Ronnie trying to get my attention.

"What? Huh?"

"Frankie here was just saying that you looked good standing next to me."

"Oh. Thanks." I said with a small smile.

"Okay, well, now that that's over, I say we all go on some water slides," Ronnie said. I don't think he noticed the way my face paled.

I was absolutely terrified of water slides. They scared the shit out of me. My cousin almost drowned on one, and ever since then, I had refused to go on water slides. Plus, I couldn't swim.

Ronnie grabbed my hand and we kicked off our shoes and walked towards one of the slides. It was actually a pair of slides. You got on a sled and went down the steep slope and then skidded across a pool like a skipping stone. There weren't any twists or turns to go on, just a tall hill. "Ronnie, I don't want to."

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun!" He grabbed us both sleds and pulled me up the stairs. When it was our turn, I gingerly got on the sled. There was a wall in front of it so we couldn't go down before we were supposed to. The attendant would press a button, and we would fall forward. Ronnie was on the other slide.

"Aren't gonna chicken out are you?" The lifeguard said to me.

"Actually… I would love to get off. Could you please help me get off?"

"Sure." The lifeguard held his hand out to me and right before I took it, he pressed the button. I screamed as gravity propelled me forward. I bumped my way across the pool and jumped off the sled, running as fast as I could away from the slide. I heard Ronnie calling my name. I ignored him, and ran into the ladies room. I slid into the handicapped stall and sunk to the ground, shaking and crying. I was so mad that Ronnie and that asshole lifeguard made me do that. I was absolutely terrified of water slides. I refused to go down them.

"Cam? Cam?" I heard Ronnie calling. "I'm going to wait right here until you come out and tell me what is going on." I hear a small thump as Ronnie sat down outside the entrance to the bathroom. I sighed and stood up. I walked out of the bathroom.

"Camren Faye! What the hell is going on?!" Ronnie said when I came out.

"Ronnie, I'm terrified of waterslides. I can't go down them."

"Why? You won't get hurt, they're completely safe."

"I can't swim, for starters. For second, my cousin almost drowned on a water slide. He was here, on a tube, and when he got off the slide, his tube tipped and he hit his head on the side of the pool. He passed out and like I said, he almost drowned."

"Cam, that was just a freak accident. It won't happen to you, I promise. And if it does, I'll save you."

"No Ronnie. I'm not going to do it." I crossed my arms.

"Fine. Is it alright if I go?"

"Yeah, go ahead. I'm going to go over to the wave pool. Can I borrow five dollars to get a tube?" Ronnie handed me the money and kissed my cheek.

"I'll be over there in a bit. You'll be okay?"

"Yeah. Love you," I said.

"Love you too," Ronnie said. I walked over to the tube rental area. I got a single tube and walked back over to the wave pool. I made my way into the water. It was still calm and fairly flat, so I slipped into the tube, holding it by the handles. I walked out into the water, feeling the coolness of it against my legs. Since I couldn't swim and sucked at navigating around with a tube, I didn't go past the 5 foot mark. After a few minutes, I decided I wanted to sit in the tube instead of hanging onto it. I pushed on the side of the tube and pulled my self out of the water. I swung my legs over the side and settled into the tube. I felt the waves start to pick up, and I grabbed onto the handles.

I leaned back and readjusted so I was laying down, with my head just touching the water. I shut my eyes and felt myself be tossed around by gently turning waves. I never once bothered to open my eyes until I felt my leg hit something. I opened my eyes and sat up. My leg had touched a rope with a buoy on it. I hadn't noticed that earlier. I looked around trying to figure out what part of the pool I was in now that the waves had stopped. My eyes connected with a depth marker.

8 FEET

I started to panic and hyperventilate. I didn't dare move, for fear I would tip my tube over and die a watery death in this godforsaken pool. I squeezed my eyes shut and said a prayer to every god I could think of to keep me safe. I felt the tears leak out of my eyes.

For most people, it would be no big deal to be all the way up here. But I wasn't most people, and I had an intense fear of water deeper than five feet or so. I couldn't swim, and I was totally convinced that I was about to drown and that I would never see Ronnie again, that I would never see Patrick walk again, that I would die a virgin… I started to bawl.

"Hey! Hey, are you okay?" The lifeguard called to me from the edge of the pool. I shook my head, and he dove into the pool after me. He pulled me back over to the side, and helped me up out of the water. "Kay, what happened?" he said, handing me what must have been his own towel and helping me sit down. I explained to him what had happened.

"I feel so dumb," I admitted.

"Don't." He smiled at me, and I noticed how he actually looked for the first time. He couldn't have been more than 18. He looked like he was (not to sound racist) from a very Tongan family. He had a heavier build, but not too heavy. He had light brown hair that was fairly curly, and had a great smile. He had this shark tooth necklace, too, and it looked like it was as much a part of him as his face was. It must have been really old, because the leather cord was extremely worn. "Lots of people have panic attacks down at the deeper end of the pool." I realized he was still talking to me.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks for saving me," I said. "My name's Cam, by the way."

"Drew." He held out his hand and I took it. He smiled at me again and wrapped me in a hug. I hugged him back, grateful that such a nice guy had saved me.

"Thank you Drew." I whispered. He released me from the hug and stood up.

"I guess I'll see you around the pool, Cam." He smirked and went back to his post. I realized I was still wrapped in his towel. I walked over and tried to hand it back.

"Here, you forgot this." He shook his head with a smile.

"No, you keep it. I have like 20 towels from working here."

"Okay. Thank you," I said.

"No problem. Bye Cam. Wait- Cam, what school do you go to?"

"Belleville," I said.

"No wonder you looked familiar." He smiled and waved bye. "See you on Monday, hopefully."

"Bye Drew," I walked away with the towel and the tube, back to where all of my stuff was. I set the towel down on the table, and then sat down on the bench, leaving my tube on the grass. I laid my head down on the soft fabric and took a deep breath. It smelled good, like Drew.

What was I thinking?! I had a boyfriend, an amazing, wonderful boyfriend! All Drew did was pull me out of a pool. Just because Drew was nice and a good looking guy did not mean that he was going to replace Ronnie.

"Hey, didn't think I'd see you back here," Ronnie said. I jumped up and almost tackled my boyfriend, wrapping him in a huge hug.

"I love you," I said, squeezing him tighter.

"I love you too. What exactly is going on here?"

"Nothing. I just love you." I released him from the hug and smiled at him.

"So, any particular reason you were back here?"

"I just had a near death experience over at the wave pool and got saved by a lifeguard. He gave me his towel. I was just bringing it back here and coming over to where I can't drown in the pool." Ronnie looked at me with a smirk.

"Near death experience?"

"I just closed my eyes and let my tube float around, and when I opened my eyes I was in the eight foot. I had a panic attack and he just pulled me out and made sure I was okay."

"Oh. Alright then. I'm glad you're okay. I was about to come find you and make sure you were feeling better. Do you want to go get a double tube and go over to the lazy river?"

"Sure," I said with a smile. We walked hand in hand over to the tube rentals and paid for a double. We dragged it over to the lazy river and sat in the tube, letting the current carry us. We floated in comfortable silence. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Let's play 20 questions or something."

"Okay. You go first," I said.

"Um… what is your favorite color?"

"I think you know that one," I laughed.

"Pink?" I shook my head. "Yellow? Blue? Green? White? Red? Orange? Brown?"

"No, no, no, no, no, no and no." He was totally teasing me.

"How about… black and purple?"

"Bingo. Nice trunks by the way," I said with a laugh. "Kay. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Your husband." I blushed deeply at his immediate response.

"Really?"

"Absolutely." Ronnie brushed some stray hair out of my face and held my face in his hands. He leaned over and kissed me deeply. Ronnie was so romantic around me. The rest of the time he was just a bad ass.

"WHOO, YEAH RONNIE!" someone called from the top of the slide next to the lazy river. We broke apart and looked up. Standing in line for Lightning Gorge, were our dear friends Billie and Jake. "SOMEONE'S GONNA GET LUCKY TONIGHT!"

"SHUT UP JAKE!" Ronnie yelled back with a laugh. I was grateful that hardly anyone else was around the park today, since it was a bit cold. Ronnie and I were alone on the lazy river, and only a few other teenagers stood in line with Billie and Jake.

Ronnie and I floated out of their sight, but we could still hear them laughing. I adjusted myself so that my back was pressed against Ronnie's bare chest. I laced my fingers into his and we just floated, not saying anything, but still knowing everything that the other one was thinking.

Who needed a cute lifeguard when you had a wonderful, gorgeous boyfriend?


	12. Standing In The Wake Of Devastation

**TITLE: IRIDESCENT BY LINKIN PARK**

**YOU WERE STANDING IN THE WAKE OF DEVASTATION, AND YOU WERE WAITING ON THE EDGE OF THE UNKNOWN, AND WITH THE CATACLYSM RAINING DOWN, INSIDES CRYING 'SAVE ME NOW', YOU WERE THERE, IMPOSSIBLY ALONE**

"Hey, wake up sleepy head," my mother's soft voice drifted into my ears as she woke me up. She was gently shaking me. "Come on darling, it's time to get up. It's time for school. Come on, I know you were out late last night, but you need to get up. Ronnie will be here soon to pick you up." I rolled over onto my back and stretched.

"Good morning mom." I was slightly shocked that she was waking me up. She hasn't done that since I was 10. Mom was already heading back toward the stairs, but turned around before she did.

"I need to talk to you before you leave today, alright?"

"Okay." I got up and quickly pulled on an Alesana shirt and a pair of jeans. I ran into my bathroom and took 4 pills and ran a brush through my wavy hair. I threw on some eyeliner and mascara, then grabbed my lipgloss and threw it in my bag. I ran upstairs with my shoes in my hand. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a handful of Honeycomb cereal. Mom was sitting at the table drinking some coffee and looking at something on her phone.

"Camren, how would you feel if I told you that I wanted to give you the house when you turn 18?"

"What?"

"When you turn 18 here in just a few weeks, I want to give you the house as your birthday present. I'm going to be moving to London for work almost the day after your birthday, and I know that you would want to stay here for school and your friends. I would help you by paying the bills, you would just need to get a job to pay for your food and clothing and things. And of course I'll come visit for Christmas and the holidays. But, are you comfortable with that?" I stared at my mother. I was in shock. I couldn't believe that she had just said that. This was perfect, exactly what I needed.

In an act of very un-Cam like behavior, I threw my arms around my mom.

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" I squealed. In just two short weeks, I would have my own place.

I heard Ronnie's car pull up. I had forgotten that he would always just come in and get me. I was still hugging my mother when he walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Cam? You in- whoa. Hey." He started to back up out of the room but I released my mom and ran over to him I jumped up on his back and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"RONALD JOSEPH RADKE! I HAVE THE GREATEST NEWS EVER!"

"Really?"

"YES! MY MOM HAS TO MOVE TO LONDON FOR WORK AND IS GIVING ME THE HOUSE. SHE'S GOING TO PAY THE BILLS FOR ME, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS BUY FOOD AND STUFF!" I hopped down off of Ronnie's back, grabbing his hand. "Bye mom! I LOVE YOU!" I dragged Ronnie down the stairs and out the back door.

Ronnie and I got in the car and as soon as I couldn't see my house, I turned to him, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie!"

"Cam Cam Cam Cam Cam Cam Cam!"

"I have my own house! And _you_ are going to come live with me!"

"Yeah, I guess so," he said thoughtfully. We pulled into the school and I practically ran in, my flip flops still in my hand. I tackled the first one of my friends I saw, which happened to be Pete.

"PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ THE THIRD!" I squealed as I hugged him tightly. "I HAVE MY OWN HOUSE I HAVE MY OWN HOUSE I HAVE MY OWN HOUSE!"

"Really?!"

I explained to him what was going on and he was every bit as excited as me. The rest of the day was spent like that, explaining to each of the guys I had my own house now, and they all got as excited as me. Instead of doing my assignments in class, I made a list of what I would need to buy and started to budget.

After school, we went to go see Patrick.

"Patrick Vaughn Stump! I have my own house now!" I was so excited I had been using everyone's full names all day. I was bouncing around as I explained to him what was going on.

He was able to talk a little bit now, as they had taken out his trach and had done a bit of repair work on his vocal cords.

"That is so great Cam," he said with a smile. He lifted his arm to give me a high five, since he was now unparalyzed to his knees as well. He had made a lot of progress, and I was so proud of him. He had made so much progress that he had been moved out of the ICU.

"And as soon as you get out of here, I'll have a big party to celebrate your homecoming!"

"That sounds awesome," he said, smiling still.

When I got home that night, my mother wasn't home, but she had left me a note.

Camren, I went to the store to pick up a few things for you. You only have two weeks left with me, and I want to make sure you'll have everything taken care of by the time I leave. I sent in an application at that store you like, Hot Topic I think it's called. They said they would call to set up an interview for you tomorrow at 4, so you'll need to be home to answer it. I love you sweetheart, I always have. Love, Mom

I smiled. My mom was taking care of all the hard stuff for me. She hadn't freaked out about my new piercings, she was giving me the house for my birthday, she was paying the bills for me, she had gotten me a job… I felt bad about not having a better relationship with her. Ever since Dad had left she had really stepped up to provide for me; all I did was throw fits about her and her boyfriend.

Oh well. Nothing can change that now, I suppose, I thought to myself. I went to the fridge and pulled out a Pepsi, and went down to the basement to get started on my homework.

A week and a half later, I was at Walmart, spending my first paycheck. Mom had packed up everything she was taking with her to London, and for some odd reason, she wanted all the towels. So I had to go buy some towels for myself. And for Ronnie.

He had decided to move in with me the day after my mom left. I had literally jumped for joy when he told me that. I was so excited.

And to top it all off, my mom was letting me do whatever I wanted to the house. "It's yours now, so you can decorate however you want," she had said. I had already bought paint for the bathroom, I just had to paint it and get towels. I had already bought the rest of the decorations for the bathroom as well. I wanted to start small and gradually paint the rest of the house.

When I got home, I dragged the towels and the last few little things I needed for the bathroom inside so I could get that redone tonight. I pulled the paint out of the garage and brought it upstairs. I taped everything off and put a tarp down. Fortunately for me, the mirror wasn't attached to the wall by anything other than a few heavy duty picture frame hanger type things. I pulled it down carefully. I had plans for the old mirror.

It took me about two hours to paint the bathroom. I had chosen to paint it a very rich royal purple on the bottom half. The top half would be white, and right around the middle of the room, I had a pretty wallpaper border. It was white with a pretty brocade pattern in black. I was pretty pleased with how it ended up looking. I left so that the paint could dry. It was a Saturday morning, and my birthday was 3 days away. My mom was moving in 4 days. I thought about how weird it would be to not see her at all anymore.

In the middle of my thoughts, someone knocked on the door. "It's open!" I called back. Gerard came up the stairs, slamming the door shut behind him. He looked like he had been crying.

"Cam, my parents just died in a car crash."

"OH MY GOSH GEE!" I wrapped him in a huge hug. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry! Oh my gosh!" I hugged him while he cried. Ronnie was supposed to come over today, and he showed up a few minutes after Gerard did.

"Ronnie, will you do me a huge favor and go get Mikey? Gee and Mikey are gonna stay with me for a while."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Their parents just died in a car crash." Gerard sobbed into my shoulder as Ronnie nodded solemnly and went to pick up Mikey. By the time he had come back, I had been able to get Gerard to stop crying long enough to fall asleep. Ronnie, Mikey, Ray and Frank all silently shuffled up the stairs. Ray and Mikey sat down together. Ray was holding Mikey's hand. Frank came and sat on the couch next to Gerard. I excused myself to go outside for a moment. I slipped out the back door, sliding it shut behind me.

I pulled out my phone and called Pete. "Can you go pick everyone up and come over? Gerard and Mikey's parents…" My voice caught and felt tears streaming down my cheeks for the two of them. Pete agreed and promised to be here in 20 minutes.

I went back inside and shut the door. I sat down next to Ronnie. Nothing was said between the six of us. What could we say? Mikey and Gerard had just lost their parents. Nothing we said would take away that hurt or make this better.

Pete showed up later with everyone else. "What's going on?"

"M-my parents d-d-di-died." Mikey sniffled. He started to bawl into Ray's shoulder. Everyone stayed quiet and sat down awkwardly in the living room. We sat there for a good hour before I started to sing, quietly.

"_You were standing in the wake of devastation, And you were waiting on the edge of the unknown, And with the cataclysm raining down, Insides crying 'Save me now', You were there, impossibly alone, Do you feel cold and lost in desperation, You build up hope, but failure's all you've known, Remember all the sadness and frustration, And let it go, Let it go, And in a burst of light that blinded every angel, As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars, You felt the gravity of tempered grace, Falling into empty space, No one there to catch you in their arms, Do you feel cold and lost in desperation, You build up hope, but failure's all you've known, Remember all the sadness and frustration, And let it go, Let it go, Do you feel cold and lost in desperation, You build up hope, but failure's all you've known, Remember all the sadness and frustration, And let it go, Let it go, Let it go, Let it go, Let it go, Let it go, Do you feel cold and lost in desperation, You build up hope, but failure's all you've known, Remember all the sadness and frustration, And let it go, Let it go… " _I was crying, Mikey and Gerard were both crying, Spencer was biting his lip, and Frank and Ray were holding tightly to their boyfriend's hands.

I leaned over and hugged Ronnie tightly, crying into his shirt. He hugged me protectively, and at that point, everyone just hugged each other. We were in the middle of one giant group hug when my mom came home.

"Hey guys… what's going on?"

"I'll tell you later mom. Is it okay if Mikey and Gerard move in with me after you move out?"

"Yeah, it'll be your house, so you can do whatever you'd like," Mom said a bit sadly. It was like she didn't want to leave her only baby.

"Thanks mom." She went back to her room and we broke up the hug. I popped in a random CD and we all just sat around talking about nothing at all.

At 11 o clock, everyone except Mikey, Gerard and Ronnie went home. Mikey and Gee didn't want to go home, and Ronnie was already planning on sleeping over. I went into the guest room and set up the bed in there. "Okay, one of you can sleep in here, and the other one can go sleep in my room."

"I don't want to take your bed, Cam," Gerard said.

"Feel free. I'm staying up for a while and it's not that unusual for me to sleep on my couch, so go ahead."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Go ahead." Gerard went downstairs, and I turned to Ronnie. "Well, so much for having a date night."

"We could still go get some food and then come back and watch a movie or something."

"Nah, it's too late to do much other than sit here or go to bed."

"Well, then let's sit here and talk." And we did. We just sat and talked for a few more hours until I fell asleep with my head in his lap.


	13. VERY SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR!

**Dear readers:**

Tis I, MCRDeathNoteLover, or as some of you know me, Maggie! I hope this finds you all well! I however, am extremely pissed! I let my... _angelic _younger siblings use my computer today, and when I came to use it this afternoon, my keyboard had been soaked with milk. This means that until I can get a new keyboard (with my luck in December) there will most likely be few to no updates :( How did I type this you ask? I used the on screen keyboard that is horrible and very, very slooooooooow. I also start school on the 28th of August, so updates will slow down even more D: I'm just as sad/pissed/annoyed/tfhdrgjgokffjttj as you are, I promise.

Lots and lots of love and hugs,

Maggie


	14. UPDATE!

Hey guys! Did you miss me? I have some news! I'm going to be updating more regularly from now on! I got a new keyboard for my better computer, so I can actually work well on it instead of being all dumb :3 Haha. Well… it's been a while since I updated, so I'll (hopefully) have new chapters of everything up by the end of this week, including a chapter for Long Gone, because I had unofficially put that one on hiatus. Yup ^_^ My work is done for the season because in all honesty, who wants to play on a bounce house in the snow? No one. I didn't get the part in the musical… D: It's okay though, I decided I'm going to be doing no extracurricular activities this year so I can focus on writing and on schoolwork :) I hope you guys like my fanfiction, because I'm sacrificing a lot to write it.

On another note, I have a fanfiction that is currently unnamed because it was just in my head and I started writing it. It's about 15 chapters long right now, and they're fairly good size chapters, so I'm wondering if you guys would be interested in reading it. It's about a girl who's 18 and has a 3 year old, and the dad is Ray Toro. If I get 4 reviews saying you want to read it I'll post it :)

Also! Reviews really do help me be motivated. If I know you guys want to read more, it makes me want to write more. Even if it's an anon review and you hate it, I want to know what you guys think of my writing!

You guys are the best, I love each and every one of you *hugs* You make me so happy! I especially love it when you guys update your stories, wink wink. Ihope you guys enjoy what I have in store for this and all my other stories :)

Hearts ya!

Maggie


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